Human race

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“'He who runs, does so not alone, but as one with mankind. However, my money is on Oprah.'”

~ Oscar Wilde on the Human Race

“ Never heard of them”

~ Boozebear on the Human race

The Human Race was first run in 1911 through the streets of Glasgow. It is not to be confused with the similar term human raise, or with English actor Hugh Mann-Race. It was won by a local Barber in 1912. His time (and still the current record) was 235 days, 13 hours, 7 minutes and 49 seconds. This is mainly due to his unique running style, which involved a complicated tribal dance routine and some tap.

The race was then run every four years through the streets of Basildon (1915), Huddersfield (1919) and Narnia (1923) before being incorporated into the Olympic Games as the Modern Pentathalon.

People who have ran the Human Race include:

Isaac Newton (1915)
Terry Wogan(1915)
Pope (1915, 1919, 1923)
Margaret Thatcher (1923)
Tony Blair (Disqualified for cheating)
Your Mum (1930) (The race wasn't run that year. But she ran it anyway, and barely got past the starting line. Because she's a fat sack of shit.)
Barry Scott (2006) (Won as he Cillit Banged his opponents)
Abhiras (2000,2002,2005,2007)Won the free pass to jail for 2 years for being the only person to win the race 4 times.
John Major (2001) There was a Major issue of him cheating but this was dismissed as he offered them a Conservative pie.
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