Hungary
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“MegszentségtelenÃthetetlenül gyönyörűséges, hihetetlenül kiejthetetlen nyelvvel rendelkeznek eme emberek!â€
~ God on Hungary
| Official language | Ancient Greek or something like that, possibly an inexplicable dialect of FORTRAN or C# (or another Microsoft stuff???) maybe Kryptonian |
| Capital | Bucharest |
| King | Somebody, it depends on her mood |
| Queen | Anita Blond |
| Area | Moves between 8 and 10^34 square miles. Currently indeterminable. |
| Established | 894 (on Earth, ?? on Sirius) |
| Currency | Forint (HUF) |
| National anthem | "Don't try to pronounce it, you'll just hurt yourself" |
| National Sports | Pornography production extrodinaire, Solving differential equations, |
| Moons | Burgenland, Asia, The Mars |
| Country code Top Level Domain | wtf.hu |
The Hungarian Republic of Hungary is a relatively young nation (it's only 1000 years old, after all) located between Botswana, Thirsty, Romania and The Country Formerly Known As The Soviet Union, in Central Europe. Despite its name, the country doesn't suffer from famine.
The river Danube runs through the center, disecting the city of Budapest into the warring city-states of Buda and Pest. The people of Hungary are often known as physicists, as decreed by their previous king, Ferenc Puskas, and they are required to dedicate their lives to physics, as decreed by the laws of physics. Hungary is not to be confused with starving.
Contents |
The Hungarian Flag
Here you have the Hungarian national flag. It was used in the revolutions of 1848, 1918, 1956 and 1989 when the Hungarians were protesting the lack of good Unicum, apothecaries, vodka and Rubik's Cubes, respectively.
The History of Hungary
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far, away, King Bela I forced his tribe of Vampires and trained telemarketers to settle into the flatest place they could find, which eventually (through careful corporate mergers and acquisions) conglomerated into Hungary, or the Paprika Empire. Thus, the foundation for it's modern legacy of porn capital of the world was begun.
Hungary disappeared from the face of the earth between WW1 and WW2. Some say that it was lost behind the couch, but most agree that it was stolen by Gypsies. No one noticed their disappearance until the production of erotic movies was shut down and the French protested.
Following the French protest, Hungary was rediscovered by Elvis Presley I. and reinstated, but was fined several million sqare miles of land for being on the wrong side of WW2. The removed land was surgically grafted onto Hawaii, who later lost it in a Chess game.
More recently, Hungary has been attempting to conquer the world, but thus far has only succeeded in conquering several inconsequential internet message boards. This has been widely exploited, however, and every Hungarian is moderator on at least 2.367 message boards......
The Website of pörkölt (=stew)
Were You Aware?
Hungarians like refer to themselves as Magyars and their country as Magyarsag. The also speak a gibberish language they made up called Magyar, we call it Hungarian to be polite. But we all know it's complete bullshit.
The Great Migration
On 26 April 1986 forces of the dark ninja lord Shredder overran the small happy communist town of Chernobyl, blowing up their peaceful nuclear reactor that was used to make nuclear warheads. This was the trigger for the great migration of Chernobylans now known as Hungry'ans - so named because they were hungry all the time. After the explosion, the Chernobylans mutated into Ninja Turtles who began to search the ocean in order to mate with the "Evil Ninja Turtles From Space". In the end the poor mutated turtles didn't find the ocean and they found only Hungary. It was wide flat and reather moist...and they settled there. "The Great Leader of the Mutated Turtles" realised that he and the rest were very veeery hungry and they devoured all they could find in the area. That's why nobody can find any mountains, or anything higher than a turtle's knee in the Panonian Plains. They decided to call the place where they settled Hungry'a, but with time it became Hungary.
The Economy of Hungary
- The economy of Hungary relies mostly on the export of physics and porn. In 1961, Nikola Tesla attempted to combine the two, creating the first known instance of pr0n. - - In recent times, Hungary has also been receiving a good deal of royalties for the production of mathematicians, especially from The Country Formerly Known As The Soviet Union. The underground economy is so good that they have great amounts of underground. They use the underground for the baby hungarian hatchlings that need to be kept underground in order to be underground .
- Furthermore, Hungarians are the inventors of the nuke and the hydrogen bomb, too. Without this country, Japan would be overpopulated!! Can you believe?
- Furthermore, Hungary has the largest export of illterate historians in the world( 357394569735679234657916379561347895613804965089690125098913598074651893465089164589163458916435613459634156134956134965193465971346590163495807134085614398568912346598123465983465098643 on square meter. Their biggest error is considering Transilvania a part of Hungary,and deny the fact that hungarians are of savage mongolians descendent, or at least this is what homosexual Romanian peasants think.
- Hungary is the second richest country in the world after Ethiopia where the average wage is the equivalent of $10 per month but as money hasn't been invented yet in Hungary all workers are paid in Paprika and Palinka. Even after paying 97% in tax the magyars still have enough left over to buy expensive sports cars (Suzuki Swift) (made in Hungary exclusively for Hungarians)
Political structure
Hungary is governed by a code known as the laws of physics, which prohibits its inhabitants from falling off the Earth's surface and requires them to dedicate their lives to physics and eat goulash. The selective exporting of these laws to other countries generates most of Hungary's revenue.
The king of Hungary is selected to be the one with the most unpronounceable name. The current king is mathematician Sződzsos Lengles, making Hungary one of only two countries ruled by a machine. It is the first country of the new era called the matrix when all men will be ruled by machines.
There are 3.1415926... houses of parliament. Sqrt(2) of them are under supervision of the king, cos(36) houses belong to the physicians.
Hungarian Sport
The most well known athlete of modern times is Zsolt Baumgartner, admired all around the world for his impressive racing skills. Hungarians are also world beaters at football, dragon boat racing and chess.
National Holidays
Music of Hungary
Hungarians like good music. Famous Bands in Hungary :
- Edda Művek,
- Ãmokfutók,
- Das Balaton Combo,
- Kozmix (really, mate, do not listen to them!)
- Belga,
- Depresszió,
- Anima sound system,
- Tankcsapda,
- Zanzibar,
- Kispál és a Borz,
- The Flying Paprikas
- Christian Epidemic
- There is no band named like this
and
Famous Hungarians (a.k.a. "Gombotz people")
- Edward Teller, peace warrior
- Nicolas Sarkozy, politician
- Lajos Kossuth, hero
- Billy Joel, piano tuner
- Sándor Márai, a famous writer
- Harry Houdini, physicist, inventor of teleportation
- Franz Liszt, a bad musician and a playboy
- Béla Lugosi, an indestructible vampire
- Béla Bartók, refugee and perhaps the greatest Hungarian guitarist ever
- Johnny Weissmüller, actor, see the early "Tarzan"
- Chita, actor, see the early "Tarzan"
- Alexander Szalacsi, speaker, a great mind
- Ãrpád Fogarasi, nuclear bunker builder, good worker
- 50 Cent half Hungarian, half 9 milimeter bullets
- Ash Ketchum, some boy, probably famous for something
- Bill Gates
- Cicciolina, porn actress
- Richard Gere, alias Gere Richárd
- József Torgyán, local comedian
- Viktor Orbán, clown
- Chuck Norris, God (Did you know that once Chuck Norris hit a horse on the chin... Its descendants are called giraffes! And he never weares a watch. He decides what time it is. Moreover, he has counted to infinity. (Twice.) He knows the latest number of pi and he can be divided by 0.)
See also
- Hungarian language
- Paprika, Hot Pepper, Pepperoni
- UFOs
- brain
- atomic bomb
- Food
| Magyarság |
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People
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| Atilla's Barca Lounger * Buda's Place * The Hungarian Province of Romania * Zolton's Paprika Palace * Bull's Slaughter of Eger |
| Europa | ||
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