Hunting

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MMMMMMMMmmmmmmeat!

“Hunting without drinking is like fishing without drinking.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Hunting

“The first duck I ever shot was a rabit I killed with a stick.”

~ Rednecks on Hunting

“Hunting is GOOD! Imagine a world where Bambi is still around!”

~ Hunters on hunting.

Hunting is the recreation of pursuing ~~meat~~ animals because they are yummy. Especially medium rare, with some sauteed mushrooms and a side of asparagus. Yum. Makes me want to hunt. But I digress.

1 The History Of Hunting
2 A Variety of hunting methods
3 The Great Hunting Debate
4 *Necessary means of feeding one's family: == == == == == ==
5 Famous Hunters

[edit] The History Of Hunting

Hunting was invented by Chef Boyardee as a means to fill his ravioli with something more scrumptious than the "olive filled bits of horror" he originally created. Boyardee began by clubbing seals and stepped up to larger prey to fill his appetite for meat. His hunger for meat quickly lead to mass destruction of several species, including Dinosaurs, Batman and the Doodoo bird. Then something happened which history has not recorded (or Boyardee ate) and hunting became as common as drinking.

[edit] A Variety of hunting methods

Many people seem to prefer the white meat

Often, A hunter will use various methods of to kill his prey.

Nuking is the use of Nuclear Explosives to kill various animals. Nuking allows for instant eating of the carcus.
Elevator Dropping consists of waiting for animals to enter an elevator, then sending the elevator to a floor where other hunters lie in wait.
Lynyrd Skynyrd is the use of bad 70's music to attract or drive animals crazy forcing them to kill themselves.
Driving is running over an animal usually resulting in road kill.
Flushing is the practice of scaring animals when they are peeing. Causes them to pee more.
Sneekandeat is the African hunting practice of sneaking up on poor white women.
Snakeplaneing is the use of Snakes on a motherfucking Plane to more easily locate animals
Bambi's Mum is the use of an off screen shot in the hope that the animal will be killed
Backstreet Boys Method is the use of bad faggish boy bands to make the animals question their sexuality, thus causing morbid depression and eventually death by gayness

[edit] The Great Hunting Debate

Hunting helps protect us from dangerous beasts

Did you know...

Most animals prefer to have their heads on a pillow than on a wall?

Hunting. Necessary means of feeding one's family or excuse for rednecks to drink beer and play with guns? The debate rages on.

== == == == == ==

[edit] *Necessary means of feeding one's family: == == == == == ==

By God, we only kill what we eat. Granted, the amount of money spent on buying a gun, beer, ammo, deer scent, beer, tree stand, camouflage, beef jerky, beer, and beer on one trip could feed my family for a year but...hey!!! Are you one of them knee-jerk liberals who wants to do away with the second amendment?

Excuse for Rednecks to drink beer:

Hunting is a senseless slaughter of defenseless creatures. You deceive the animals with camouflage and phony scent and shoot them with high powered rifles.