Hypothesis
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A hypothesis is much like a guess, but it does not also manufacture jeans. Instead, it is a guess made by scientists or scienticians who wish to look smart after their experiments turn out the way they guessed, or later claimed to have come from their graduate, undergraduate or preschool students when it explodes in their face (i.e. they're their they're a physicist).
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[edit] History of Hypotheses
The hypothesis was invented by the ancient Greek philosopher and gardener Aristotle, or possibly his wife Jacklyn. He didn't use it for much, however - despite a long career of philosphising and nude wrestling, he only managed to produce a single hypothesis in his lifetime: People will all taste something if you offer it to them saying "Taste this, its disgusting" Which was later proved true by his students Optimus Prime and Optimus Composite when they successfully fed him bicycle grease with this exact ruse. Many other Greek philosophers used hypothesis, and from there it spread to the Egyptians, Romans, Phonicians, English, Liverpudlians and Phyrexians. However, all of these civilisations failed to realise that you could invent other hypotheses and consequently disgarded it after each eating a bunch of disgusting things.
The Australians retained it however, which is why they eat vegemite, milk and marmots.
Later, famous mathemagician and all around smarty pants Albert Q. Einstein realised that other hypothesis could be invented and consequently won the Nobel Prize for his research on Brownian motion when he hypothesised that toilets in the southern hemisphere rotate the wrong way (i.e. the toilet swirls around when flushed, and the water stays still).
Einstein had several other hypothesises, which he proved with a thought experiment. He was German however, and popularised the German word for thought experiments, Gerplunkinuton, among other scientists who wished to create a hypothesis to write papers and consequently become famous.
Einstein got into a famous philosophical war with Niels Bohr who discovered you could use a hypothesis to apply for a scientific research grant and consequently became rich and scored with many nerdy babes. This was previously believed impossible. Although Bohr almost certainly did most of the work on this, it was named the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle after his student Eunice Principle.
[edit] Geography of Hypothesis
Like most mathematical topographies, it would be best if we just didn't discuss it.
[edit] Uses of hypotheses
Today the most popular use of a hypothesis is to apply for a scientific research grant and become filthy stinking rich. Other uses exist, for instance you can also become filthy stinking rich applying for an engineering research grant, or filthy stinking by applying for an economics research grant.
In combat, a well formulated hypothesis, expressed succiently, may confused an opponent. At this point the combatent can retrieve his lunch money and get back to the lab.
[edit] Sources
- A complete idiot's guide to hypothesizing Albert Q Einstien, 1988, Random Publisher's Clearing House
- How to take a guess and pick up chicks Niels Bohr et. al Journal of Quantum Physics, v.409 pp.1129-1099
