Idiots

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Idiots are said by Darwin to have descended from the Lord himself when he created Adam in his own image. This evolutionary chain continued through the forms of bottom feeders such as catfish, and also in primates, where the 'idiocy gene' was found to have been propagated in deep fat friers. Today over 90% of the computer-literate are believed to be either idiotic or obese. Many believe that they fall in neither category, but they're often too stupid to realise or too chubby to reach a sensible vantage point for self-reflection.

“An idiot huh, I like to call them simpletons”

~ O.P.

“I wonder who we're talking about here...”

~ Captain Obvious on Captain Oblivious

“Huh? What?”

~ Captain Oblivious on previous quote

“Yeah right. Idiots are really intelligent.”

~ Captain Sarcasm on article

“Idiots? Yeah they're just a bunch of mumming mums I'd say. Now gimme that waffle”

~ Oscar Wilde

Contents 1 How to find a idiot 2 Finding whether you are an idiot 3 Idiots Law 4 Other Facts 5 Common known idiots 6 Alternate Definition

[edit] How to find a idiot

If you're trying to find out if a woman is an idiot and you are male, you simply approach her and scream "LET ME FUCK YOU!" at the top of your lungs. If said female is NOT an idiot she will remain silent and walk away. If she is an idiot she will immediately remove all articles of clothing and proceed to do as instructed. (Or get kicked by Chuck Norris for no apparent reason at all.) Same applies to with men, but this usually works better on females.

Aside from the aforementioned technique, one of the easiest methods of finding an idiot is to buy a plane ticket to the United States, specifically Washington D.C (although a three-legged idiot has been supposedly sighted somewhere in Texas).

Common characteristics of idiocracy include:

1. Red Hair
2. Being from Arkansas or Missouri
3. Saying completely irrelavent things
4. Being in politics
5. Having the name Paris Hilton
6. Carrying a small dog with you at all times
7. Being on your MySpace page at 2:00AM
8. Your name is Francis, or Kevin
9. <insert name here> is an idiot.

If you have an idiot on your hands, send them to this website: How To Keep An Idiot Busy

Also, if you have experience with idiots, recount your tales here: I Am An Idiot

[edit] Finding whether you are an idiot

There are many ways to find if you are an idiot. One of these ways is using the list below.

You are an idiot if you are:

1. Anyone who has to spell fail phail
2. An avid user of Wikipedia
3. A World of Warcraft addict
4. A fundamentalist
5. Paris Hilton
6. George W. Bush
7. Thinking that voting for George W. Bush was a good idea
8. Looking directly at Chuck Norris
9. In a tanning salon
10. A person who spends more than 2 hours stalking someone they like on Facebook
11. Acting like a fool directly in Mr.T's line of sight
12. Frustrated by can openers
13. A call center agent
14. Someone who works for the United Nations
15. Getting on a plane with Samuel L Jackson...or with snakes... or both... You're gonna die anyways.
16. Fat and use "thingy" in all of your sentences.
17. Have a Facebook or MySpace page.
18. Thinking that weed "inspires creativity" and that "the man can't put me down!"
19. Are in love with the film "Across The Universe"
20. Any member of "The View," especially that one blonde haired bitch. What a twat
21. An avid argument starter on the internet
22. Somebody who visits discos to "get down" and/or "boogie on up the floor"
23. A liberal, republican and everything in between
24. Think Samus Aran is a man.
25. Anyone who has fallen up a flight of stairs

(We should however note that pornstars and lipstick lesbians are NOT idiots. They are entertainers.)

To figure out if you are an idiot, you may also take this quiz: The Idiot Test

[edit] Idiots Law

There are some laws that idiots have to follow (as this is Earth) or else Satan will send racists to their house and rape intelligent people in their house, blame them for murdering the racists, and send them to Guantanamo Bay for a pleasurable weak week-end.

The rules are:

• An idiot continues to stay in his/her state of idiocy unless compelled by an external idiot to act otherwise.

This law clearly states that if 2 idiots meet, they will become normal people. But this seem to have negative effect as their idiocy rate becomes 2*Idiots. That may explain the increased case of rape through out the world (Africa holds the record). Therefore if you are intelligent and see a group of idiots, why not kill them before racists open up your ass?

• The change of rate of idiocy per unit time is equal to the force of idiocy(temptation) and the change in direction of the brain.

This one mentions that the temptation of an idiot varies when the change of rate of idiocy(delta, D) is divided by time. This is extremely important to people as it allows the matrix calculator to predict every move an idiot is going to make.

The formula:

• If an idiot A exerts a force on an idiot B then B exerts an equal and opposite force on A.

The third law states that if an idiot is applying idiocy force on a person, the person will absorb it and then exert the same force on the idiot, confirming the creation of another idiot. This law works only when satan wants to create idiots, make them break rules and send racists all along the world to rape all intelligent people. To increase your chance not to get raped, here is what you should do:

1. Murder all idiots. Bring them in a surburb where all my nigga friends are, convince 'em to write swear words about them and watch them die
2. Run over them
3. Send them to Vice City and make them become Tommy Vercetti's bitches
4. Make them become your bitch
5. Run over them with a bloody tank
6. Make them annoy Osama DustBin Laden
7. DO NOT IN ANY CASE VOTE GEORGE BUSH!! OR Hilarious Racist
8. Delete their Facebook page.

[edit] Other Facts

1 Idiots also keep other Idiots in check. Imagine a world with just one ultra powerful idiot! Where would the world be? Most likely playing to death. Fortunately,all stupidity is spread out equally throughout the world. But unfortunately, I can't say the say the same for being smart, for only a few actually have that special ability to tell when they are doing something stupid. Idiots also have the ability to see other idiots without actually finding out verbally or physically. But for those who do find out that way, R.I.P. Idiots don't have the right to vote

P.S. Idiots will not erase this article

• (because they wrote it)

2 Any country protecting Osama dustBIN Laden are full of idiots. Avoid at all cost!! (Also known as towel-heads)

3 All aussies are idiots(they invented the rotary clothes line 200 years ago)

4 Idiots have WiFi 802.66n integrated in their head

[edit] Common known idiots

• Americans
• The Squirrel that you ran over with your car
• Your mom
• Your dad
• George W. bush Supporters
• KITT
• G.W. Bush, self titled "Emperor of America"
• Winnie Mandela.
• The Simpsons: Homer, Bart, and others
• Hello Kitty

[edit] Alternate Definition

	Idiot (file info)
	An" alternate definition of idiot. Everyone but idiots see the value of others' opinions, unless of course the other person is an idiot.

IDIOT is an organisation. IDIOT stands for Illegal democracy in official taliban-countries.

Also,if you like being an idiot try this, you idiot.

Four Letter-Words
The A Word • The B Word • The C Word • The D Word • The E Word • The F Word • The G Word • The H Word • The I Word • The J Words • The K Words • The L Word • The M Word • The MF Word • The N Word • The Ñ Word • The O Word • The P Word • The Q Word • The R Word • The S Word • The T Word • The U Word • The V Word • The W Word • The X Word • The Y Word • The Z Word

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The World Biggest Idiot Is Curtis Woodley, A Well Known Idiot TWAT.