ITT Tech
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Contents |
[edit] ITT The Man
Itt Adams endowed the proto campus of ITT Tech with a the can-do spirit of Madison Avenue. He approached the board of directors of his multinational conglomerate and persuaded them to fund the first ever completely analog campus. A victim of chronic Onanism, Itt's hairy palms soon spread over his entire body. The first female graduate of ITT Tech, was astounded when she parted his hair to give him the cutomary kiss on the cheek to find his face stuck in a perma-smile that made the Joker look like a sourpuss.
[edit] ITT The School
ITT Tech soon became the center of the American RetroTechnological revolution. The school's alumni have made significant contribution to society, including the original development of the internet (A. Gore '78), the Furby (M. Hasbro '99), and the question mark (D. Evil '96). Given these remarkable achievements, the university now has its pick of the worlds finest students. ITT Tech's first-class facilities are supported primarily by and despite of alumni donations. The endowment currently stands at $16,395.48.
[edit] ITT The Plan
It had always been the plan for the school to offer a first rate program in diploma milling. It is estimated that the first diploma milling degree will be matriculated in 2008 (Up from 2006!) with the graduation of Itt's own first cousin once removed, Pugsley. Pugsley was the first student to enroll in the diploma milling program, and has been instrumental in the final design of the ITT Cordless Diploma Mill. Reams of paper are put in the hopper, and with the touch of the button, razor sharp blades mill the paper into first rate diplomas.
[edit] ITT The Canal
Through the main campus of ITT Tech runs the grand canal. Although man-made, it was a painful recreation of the Grand Canal of Venice. Each day at noon, the central plaza floods. School administration immediately files for another Grant from the Itt conglomerate.
[edit] ITT The Punch Line
The graduate school executive teas are a who's who of American letters in science. Especially popular is the fruit drink. Seperately it is just ginger ale, 7 up, orange juice and grapefruit juice. Together it is a drink that draws a line. So long is this line the thirsty graduates start to think just where their degree can take them. It is through the palindromatic use of key truths within the school's Motto that they realize the awesome truth. A Man! - A Plan! - A Canal! 75% of the intellectual elite of the Central American country of Panama, hold degrees from ITT Tech. Truthfully, A man, a Plan, A Canal: Panama!
