I Can't Believe It's Butter

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I Can't Believe It's Butter is a low-quality butter product marketed as an industrial lubricant. I Can't Believe It's Butter is biodegradable, which often makes it ideal for applications in which environmental regulations preclude the use of petroleum-based lubricants. It also is used in greasing up Fabio and his golden locks before he goes out to seduce soccer moms that cheat on their husbands.

I Can't Believe It's Butter is a yellowish, viscous liquid typically used to lubricate machine parts. It offers excellent protection against corrosion and oxidation, and can be used in environments as cold as 2°C, though it begins to break down at temperatures higher than 125°C. Stabilizers added to the mixture make it possible for I Can't Believe It's Butter to be stored at room temperature for up to 20 years without becoming rancid.

If I Can't Believe It's Butter is accidentally swallowed, induce vomiting and contact your local poison control center immediately, and you might want to watch your stool, it might ne oily for the next couple of months.