I Clavdivs
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Running throughout the 1920s, I Clavdivs was a popular television series based loosely upon the book of the same name, which in turn was based on the writings of Suetonivs, Ancient Rome's greatest sportswriter, which in turn was based on a Commodore 64 shoot 'em up (or SHMUP).
The series followed the source material to the letter, even when the two sources diverged. This allowed audiences to learn that all Romans spoke with an English accent, that toga length is determined solely by the quality of a wearer's legs and that a Commodore 64's SID chip renders human speech more realistically than the human mouth itself.
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[edit] Synopsis
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Scripted, produced and directed by Virgil, the series details the corruption, intrigue and sexual promiscuity of several powerful members of Roman society. The corruption and intrigue became less prominent over the course of the series when producers discovered that, given the historical accuracy of the novel, they could get away with just about anything and call it culturally uplifting.
The story of I Clavdivs begins during the reign of Caesar Avgvstvs, continues through the reign of Tiberivs, takes a long detour through the reign of Caligvla, before coming to a stop for Clavdivs to have a turn. The series came to an end before Nero could become emperor, presumably because there weren't enough V's in his name to carry this lame joke any fvrther.
The lead character in all this nonsense is (rather unsurprisingly) a chap called Clavdivs Fvrivs Horsa. Our spazzy anti-hero defeats his enemies with a combination of guile, daring, insatiable desire for carnal knowledge, limping, and a comical speech impediment. Leaving a lengthy trail of corpses in his wake, Clavdivs eventually rises to the dizzy heights of Emperor.
At this point in the saga, Virgil seeks to combat falling viewer ratings by pitting Clavdivs against a variety of divinely sponsored adversaries. Clavdivs soundly defeats harpies, schoolgirls, fairies, kittens, grey squirrels, cabbage, Xena Warrior Princess, and Zeus before his luck runs out and the furries do him in.
[edit] Original Language
I Clavdivs was written and performed in The Queen's English. As The Queen's English is now a dead language, all of the above is mere conjecture.
[edit] Technical Excellence
As the series progressed, the director discovered that everything was being recorded on camera and learned how to use ground-breaking techniques such as cuts, dissolves and voice-overs. The director's growing confidence in working with cinematic techniques can be determined by the amount of nudity depicted in his scenes. This reaches a narrative climax when a woman appears top-less immediately after a dissolve. That may not seem like much, but it's cutting-edge stuff for this guy. Trust me, it's a big deal when you're watching it.
[edit] A Springboard to Stardom
I Clavdivs was a major stepping stone for several British actors, including Derek Jacobi, the guy from Star Trek and Prince Vultan. Not least, it introduced William Hurt to American audiences.
The introduction of William Hurt to America created a cultural rift between the two nations that is only now beginning to heal. After William Hurt, the Americans retaliated with fluoridated drinking water, which prompted the British Invasion. This unfortunate display of brinkmanship was stopped by the threat of Mutually Assured Destruction in the persons of Donald Trump and Rupert Murdoch.
