Imagination
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Imagination is exactly what you imagine it to be. The most imaginative among you will probably imagine that imagination is more than stupid people imagine it to be. If the stupid among you can begin to imagine what the imaginative people imagine then I imagine you are well on the way to understanding imagination. All pretty straight forward so far!
[edit] The good, the bad and the dumbass
“Of those of us who imagine we are the greatest person that ever lived, we are all wrong. I implore the rest of you to imagine I am the exception”
~ Oscar Wilde on imagination
Summary: Perceptual ventriloquism, the master at work.
“Imagine there's no countries”
~ John Lennon on a worldwide pedestal
Summary: John obviously had no imagination, where would George Bush and Saddam Hussein aim their missiles if there were no countries? Stupid freak!
“Melting of the polar icecap is slowly making sea levels rise, it must be stopped. Excuse me one moment I need to go to the bathroom, I think I just soiled myself”
~ George W. Bush on global warming
Summary: No imagination needed here. George is most definitely a great leader to the imaginative fatties of this world. Sea levels rising my arse, USA is simply sinking under the immense weight of 300 million overweight disciples.
“Fuck off and die Lennon you moron, imagine this .... click”
~ Saddam Hussein on a mission to exterminate unimaginative westerners
Summary: No comment
“Why you askin'? You fink I'm fick or summet? I aint never even bin to Italy!!”
~ Jade Goody on another planet when asked about imagination
Summary: Jade clearly has no understanding of imagination yet hers is excellent, suffering from cranial misallignment but excellent. Personally I cannot imagine what makes her imagine that everyone thinks she is thick, therefore her imagination is probably better than mine.
“I don't need imagination! All I ever do is to point out what everybody already knows and that requires no imagination.”
~ Captain Obvious on imagination
Summary: Captain Obvious hits the nail once again, just as he always does.
“Just look at me - I am rich, loved by everyone, has three Ferrari's of different models in my garage, owns a gigantic mansion with a five hectare garden, have thousands of friends throughout the whole world, has a supermodel girlfriend, am sexy, athletic and intelligent and own all the technological goodies any man could ask for”
~ you on imagination
“Anyone who lives within their imagination must be really boring to talk to.”
~ Oscar Wilde on imagination
“...but if they lived inside their own imagination, you wouldn't be able to meet them and physically interact with them, would you?”
~ Phil Osophy on Oscar Wilde's quote
“If 008 were to say something witty here, you can easily imagine what it's going to involve...”
[edit] How To
If nothing has made any sense so far then try this short exercise:
Pretend you haven't opened this page yet and try to think what might be here without opening the page. There are four possible outcomes of this exercise.
1. You don't even understand the instructions and your mind is completely blank. If so then this page is for you
2. You had a glimmer of an idea. I highly recommend some imagination therapy to stimulate your fledgling ideas. One scientifically proven stimulant is masturbation, if you need any help then ask your next door neighbour for a hand. Another stimulant is sex, statistically most effective for your imagination when practiced with your partner.
3. Your imagination led you to imagine that imagination is exactly what all imaginative people imagine it to be, or at least one would imagine so. Congratulations you are already an accomplished wanker.
4. You think that if John Kerry actually became president shit would happen.
