Imperviousnicity

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Imperviousnicity is also referred to as "invulnerability" by the unwashed hoardes. You sad, fucking morons... Get it right, Or Else.

[edit] About Imperviousnicity

Imperviousnicity is a condition of extraordinary power. At its most potent implementation it protects you from all possible harm. You will be totally bad-ass, and in a fight, you can even survive against a Ninja with Elite Ninja Skills. You cannot win against a Ninja, but the fight will be a draw. No one can beat a Ninja. Except for Oscar Wilde. Not Even Chuck Norris.

[edit] Getting Imperviousnicity

Normal people can get Imperviousnicity, but not only do you have to roll double-zeroes, you also need the Dungeon Master's permission in order to write it on your character sheet, which usually means you have to hook him up with your hot sister, or cover his pizza bill next time you order out.

[edit] Cure for Imperviousnicity

• Marriage. This has a high liklihood of turning you into a pussy. If you ever become a pussy, you are no longer Impervious. That's just the way it works.

[edit] Variations of Imperviousnicity

1. Total Imperviousnicity: Nothing can harm you whatsoever. You can eat a thermal detonator for breakfast, a quantum torpedoe for lunch, and a black hole for dinner. The antimatter explosions resulting from these acts will do nothing to harm you innards. Very few people get Total Imperviousnicity, as it generally ruins the game, and if you do get it, people will say you're a munchkin.
2. Mostly Impervious: You are relatively bad-ass. Normal punches, kicks, and smacks with a frying pan do little more than inconvenience you. Leaping off of the top of the Empire State Building into a small shotglass of Evian water will only cause 2d6 hit points of damage, 3d10 at most.
3. Relative Imperviousnicity: People who are Relatively Impervious are usually misnomers. Wolverine and The Incredible Hulk are examples of Relative Imperviousnicity. Yes, they could be killed, however it's hard to inflict enough damage to them to accomplish that feat.

[edit] People who are afflicted with Imperviousnicity

• Lowtax
• Randall Irons
• Shaq
• Oscar Wilde
• Tiger Woods If you mess with Tiger, he will beat you with a 4-iron, all like Tommy Vercetti Style.
• Not Lance Falcon
• Sean Connery Because Africa won't let him Die.
• Scott Evil
• Ben Stiller How many fucking terrible movies is this guy going to be in? Have you seen Mystery Men? Holy Abomination of Christ!