A Splode
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
THIS ARTICLE A SPLODE.
“A little a splosion is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely hilarious”
~ Oscar Wilde on a splode
“Your mom's head a splode!”
~ Your mom on a splode
“What Happen?
Someone set up us the bomb”
~ CATS on a splode
“AAAH-AAA-SPLODE, AAA-EEE-AAAA-A SPLODE!”
~ Matt Bellamy in "Knights of A Splodia"
“ I Went to the moon, and there i saw A Splode”
~ Niel Armstrong on A Splode
“In Soviet Russia, dynamite a splode YOU!!”
~ Russian Reversal on A Splode
“Bob Dole's pants A Splode! ”
~ Bob Dole on a splode
“Your head a splode.”
~ Vector Strong Bad after a sploding somebody
“Your head engsmsplode.”
~ Vector Strong Bad after a sploding somebody
A splode is the process of explosion but in a “ka-blooey” way. Most a splosions do not necessarily require explosives or fire for it to a splode. A splosions can be found in places where there is a buildup of a high outward force (such as where there is too much confusion). A splosions are (naturally) rare and beautiful events, much like the event horizon of a black hole, but less spaghettified. Another way to say a sploded is engsmsploded.
Contents |
[edit] History
The discovery of a splosions dates back to the 1900s when explodologists were developing a new form of rapid expanding energy force [citation needed]. Explodogists had been experimenting with explosions to develop a replacement for the common horse. They found that when materials that normally did not react with organic material, such as snacks and people, would a splode if the mass of the objects is a prime number. The explodogists named this reaction the I Can See it A Splode Principle. They could not determine why this happened due to the lack of technology.
While explodogists worked further into researching the cause of a splode, scientists researched into historical accounts of a splode. The earliest record of a sploding dates back to the Triassic period. There was a hypothesis that, in addition to the possible asteroid, a splode played a role in the extinction of many animals. Many animals may have suffered spontaneous a splosions (See spontaneus a splosions below).
Thornton Wilder was secretly an explodogist, and he snuck his own Deadly Splosion theory into his play, Our Town:
"Y'know what I think, George? I think the moon's getting nearer and nearer, and there's gonna be a big splosion!"
Recent studies show that this would cause the whole planet to a splode, making a splosion that would a splode everything that can possibly be a sploded.
During the 1950s, the microwave oven was developed and sold to many households[citation needed]. Some users microwaved food that was non-porous or microwaved a glass of water. When taken out of the microwave, users placed the food or glass of water on the table. As they did this, the food or glass of water seemed to miraculously a splode! The scientific community was astonished that they may have discovered the cause of a splode. However, when thorough research was performed, it was found that the food or water had just simply became unstable and a sploded due to the high level of energy that the food gained.
Another recent exploration of a splosionating is credited to Deidara (see: Transvestite) seen in anime Naruto (see: crap). He causes peoples who cannot comprehend his 1337 art to a splode. Also, he/she is subject to butthurt from fangirls.
Today, we know the cause of a splosions thanks to greatly improved scientific equipment and resources (such as the computer and Uncyclopedia).
[edit] Etymology
The term "A Splode" comes from the Greek Asp, meaning “Asp” and the Latin Lodere meaning “Ka-Blooey!”
[edit] How a splode works
“You got some a'splodin to do.”
~ Ricky from I Love Lucy
A sploding is the process in which Asps – which we all know are the major constituent of quarks and leptons – suddenly start craving Cheetos made by leprechaun migrant workers. Unfortunately, due to the size of the Asps, Cheetos cannot be delivered in the bite-size pieces that they desire. (No, not even those crumbs that are left at the end. Mmmm, crumbs...) This causes the Asps to a selerate in every direction known to humans (and 7 others) in the search for Cheetos of the right size.
However, due to the incredibly strong attraction between the Asps and their non-existent Cheetos, such a large energy force is created in such a small vicinity that all surrounding material implodes. Unfortunately, this results in an extremely dense area forming sans-Asp, a.k.a. a black hole. Luckily, this style of black hole only exists for a fraction of a second as the Asps get bored due to their incredibly short attention span and forget why they weren't chillin' at their crib.
On a macroscopic scale, the a sploding object appears to combust and you suddenly lose all your Cheetos. However, the onlooker will suddenly be propositioned by an unsavory amount of Doritos. On impact with air, much like anti-matter, a splosions will a splode, sending chips and cracks flying down your trousers. Then, in a blanket of chips and cracks, you will die, mercilessly scattered among the rocks and other sharp things. I like eggs.
The stress ball was used and went A splode, o noes.
Gooch Nibbler = A splode!!!!!!!>
[edit] Spontaneous a splosions
“Yeah, like that can happen.”
~ Captain Sarcasm on spontaneous a splosions
“Spontaneous a splosions are mostly unplanned.”
~ Captain Obvious on spontaneous a splosions
Spontaneous a splosion is a process that has been carefully studied. Although there is still much to discover, several theoretical explanations have been created.
[edit] Go ahead a splode
Main article: SASHS
SASHS (Sudden A Sploded Head Syndrome), also known in the pseudo-scientific community as Hyper-Cerebral Electrosis, or HCE, is a condition believed to be caused by overloading the brain with the body's own electricity through intense thinking and concentration, resulting in the spontaneous combustion or volatile explosion of the patient's head.
[edit] A splode you a go
Spontaneous a splosions that occur to humans and a few animals result in a split-second severe mental insanity. When people are repeatedly stressed or their mood abruptly changes to anger, their body cannot handle this pressure very well. If the body is not capable of suppressing this anger or stress, it can result in a splode without warning from a chemical equilibrium imbalance. A splosion may also be caused by holding in farts too long, causing intestinal gasses to ignite.
This disorder is the result of the genetic makeup of that person. People with a life-long career that deals with troublesome areas, such as technical support or administrative work, will have a greater chance of a sploding.
[edit] Spontaneous a splosions
There is no cure, but there are treatment options.
[edit] Fruit a splosions
A splosions can occur in some fruits without any reason. Cases of a splode in fruits include Fruitopia and the mysterious fruit-a-splode-in-your-face-when-you-eat-it affliction. In Fruitopia, fruits a splode into a delicious drink. Fruit-a-splode-in-your-face-when-you-eat-it usually occurs when someone is about to take a bite of a fresh, juicy fruit. The cause of spontaneous fruit a splode is not known. Pictured here is the famous instance of Adolf Hitler attempting to eat a sploding watermelon at a demonstration at Bergen-Belsen. Shortly thereafter, he turned to his unidentified female companion and roared "Damn, this is just like last night!"
A fruitcake is the opposite of fruit a splosions. Instead of an a sploding outward force, fruit is drawn into its centre core while rapidly increasing in mass.
[edit] Kidney a splosions
Most commonly found in people who have been doing the Atkins diet for several years. The weakened kidneys reach a critical state where they a splode abruptly. It's not uncommon to ear a low-carber utter the words "my kidneys a splode!" Despite their a sploded kidneys, they do not die and continue ambling about as lively as ever, much to the frustration of medical experts.
[edit] Applications of a splode
“I sure a sploded that bitch.”
~ Marc Antony on Cleopatra
A splode is often used in the media as a more colourful and vibrant explosion. Such example would be a car chase scene. Instead of the car exploding, the occupants of the car would a splode. When a splosions are used effectively, it manifests a brilliance that natural a splodes display.
[edit] Use By Noobs
N00bs use the term asplode as a form of 13375p33k. For example:
Non-Noob: Lol I pwnt u with a rocket launcher!
Noob: Oh teh noes!!! I am asplode!!11!eleventyone!!
Non-Noob: Wtf?
[edit] A splode simulation
It is possible to replicate a miniature a splosion by using some sort of external energy or force, such as a large hammer against a brittle rock.
A common example that is taught in science class at school is the water balloon. The water balloon is a safe and easy method of demonstrating a simulation of an a splosion. Students simply fill the water balloon with water and the a sploding device is made. To activate the a splode, take a pin and poke the balloon. The a splode will occur splashing water all over the place. You can best appreciate the a splosion with a high speed camera.
[edit] A splode: the command prompt
Micro$oft secretly enabled a splode as a DOS command. Opening the command prompt and entering C:\asplode would start a countdown which would, when finished, cause your hard drive to a splode. Entering D:\asplode made the CD drive a splode. And entering A:\asplode would would make the floppy drive a splode. If you have a B:\ drive, you can a splode it by entering B:\asplode. Usually this makes the 5.25" floppy drive a splode! If you enter this into a Linux shell, it a splodes all computers within a 5-mile radius that run Window$. By entering Ω:/asplode, the internets will a splode. If you loved your PC, you would have entered this DOS command.
(Note: drive letter may vary between PCs.)
[edit] ASPLODED!!!!!!!!!!
BOOM YOU ASPLODED! By reading this paragraph you have now asploded. How's it feel? Kind of anticlimactic, ain't it? Yeah, it wasn't that awesome for me either. Want some pot?
[edit] See also
- A sploding animal with real explosions
- A Sploding Head Syndrome
- Asplode! The Musical
- How to a splode
- Strong Bad a splode as well
- MacGruber
- EXPLODE!!!
- Kaboom
- iSplode
“There's only one thing worse than being a sploded and that is – *A SPLODE* ”
~ Attributed to Oscar Wilde before he a sploded
You all suck (a splode) woofer sucks lol
