Sexual innuendo

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“What other type of innuendo is there?”

~ Oscar Wilde on sexual innuedo

“In your End-oh!”

~ The Todd on Sexual Innuendo

“Innuendo... I saw you in-your-window”

~ Jeff Foxworthy on Sexual innuendo

Sexual innuendo is a hard topic to stay on top of. As a humor tool, it stands erect in the English language. While there are no hard and fast rules as to what constitutes sexual innuendo, there have been many mass debates on the topic, and now the general principles at the root of the topic are firm and well-rounded. However, full penetration of the subject requires that the reader take a long, hard look at the target and be a cunning linguist in order to avoid limp phrases and imbibe the phrase with a large handful of meanings. The topic can become hot by attempting to grasp it, and the more one experiments with it, the more interested they become. As well as the language changes innuendos must change in order to fill the newly created holes and satisfy listeners.

A common problem with sexual innuendo is the recipient being unable to wrap their hands around the intended meaning. In this case, an individual using sexual innuendo will often start slow and eventually build up, increasing depth more and more until the recipient feels the actual thrust of the point and the innuendo climaxes. An innuendo is always the most pleasing when no one sees it coming, often by entering the mind through the rear. Some skilled people are even able to use several sexual innuendos quickly in succession, resulting in multiple innuendo-esque climaxes. Key phrases can grasp the sentence by the ankles and part its long clauses allowing the orator to penetrate the essence of the sentence. In this regard, the key is to avoid stiff, rigid words, for ones that give the meaning of the sentence a firm rise in innuendic possibilities. Some regard sexual innuendo as an art form, and it goes without saying that one needs a certain level of oral skills in order for the fluidic exchange of innuendo to succeed. However, this is not enough to fill the requirements. One needs to pay special attention to the region of the sentence to which the innuendo will enter. For lasting effects, it is most important to enter deep within the recipient's consciousness and to ensure that all of the seeds of humor have flowed forth. This is not an easy task for most people, so it is only through rigorous repetition of the insertion of sexual innuendo that one can fully master the uplifting effects it can have on vocabulary.

Although sexual innuendo requires masterful manipulation of parts of speech (and sometimes the skillful use of body language), for most people it comes quickly. There is currently much debate over whether an extended innuendo can substitute for technique, for example:

Contents 1 Fertilization 2 Examples of sexual innuendo 3 Sexual Innuendo in Literature 4 Innuendo in Nature 5 Innuendo in the Word "innuendo" 6 The Masters of the Sexual Innuendo 7 Controversy 8 See also 9 Also 10 External links

[edit] Fertilization

Originally created by authors as a way to firmly grab their readers' imaginations and caress them with an artistic touch for maximum effect, skillful use of sexual innuendo has long since stood erect in much of society. Since its conception, sexual innuendo has slowly and smoothly spread across much of the face of pop culture. Despite periodic attempts by some to wipe away the practice, spurts of sexual innuendo continue to stick to the front of society, rivulets of which flow down into cultural nether regions and pool there.

[edit] Examples of sexual innuendo

When engaging in the supple art of sexual innuendo, one must avoid circumlocution in order to come across as logically stalwart and rigid. In this first example, the first individual subtly insinuates that he would like to engage in a sex act:

Individual 1: "Let's fuck!"

Individual 2: "And how?"

While in the next example it's apparent the 1st individual isn't "with it" in his attempt to request sex:

Individual 1: "Can I borrow your virginity?"

Individual 2: "You're a dirty pervert!"

Even in text form, one can feel how the subtle implications roll rapidly off the tongue of the first speaker and into the receptive ears of the second, achieving a most desirable state of deep oral communication without any coverage of sticky conversational fumbling, as well as eliciting the desired reaction.

Let's take a peek at another ripe, burgeoning example:

Individual 1: Bum!

Individual 2: Oh, what a giveaway!

Can you feel the resonance throbbing gently through this subtle discourse?

Individual 1: Why must you turn everything into a sexual innuendo?

Individual 2: I'd like a turn in your end-o!

[edit] Sexual Innuendo in Literature

Perhaps one of the most adroit manipulations of the inherent suppleness of language can be found in the ever-honeyed realm of Romantic Poetry. Many writers find innuendo to be an incredibly pleasurable experience, and their urges to create innuendo-laced pages build up until finally they gush forth a stream of innuendo which impregnates the text with naughtiness. Some authors have said they favor innuendo because it fills a void in their literature, and their readers often comment on how uplifting the innuendos are. Although different writers have their own, unique and often exotic techniques for engaging subtle sexual overtones (often heavily swayed by the peccadilloes of their cultures), the undisputed masters of both manual and oral tradition are the Japanese Haiku masters. The tight structure of traditional Haiku is quite restrictive and binding to long, drawn out notions of verbal foreplay, and yet through the delicate insertion of clever natural image, they are able to whet their readers' insatiable appetites for subjects often considered taboo.

Here, we see one of Basho's most spiritually arousing offerings. Pay close attention to the overflowing voluptuousness of the surging bucolic imagery that he employs to convey the delicate spice of his demure affection for his chaste mistress:

The surf on the rocks,

Gentle rain falls on cedars,

I will fuck you raw.

I think we would all like to have this sort of beautiful sentiment inside us.

Haiku is not the only form of poetic expression so deeply soaked with sexual innuendo, list poetry can make even the most suggestive literature turn flaccid in fright.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I want to fuck you with a rake.

Because of this poem's double-ended simplicity, it manages to slide itself into a niche of warm, phallic, poetic mastery.

Certain shaggy dog stories also mount the plateau of high-brow innuendo, although they seem to last for long periods of time before coming to a conclusion, making them comparatively impotent, when put side-by-side with the fast, rocking undulations, and sudden thrusts of classical poetry.

[edit] Innuendo in Nature

Not to put anything in Mother Nature's mouth, many up-and-coming naturist youths have pointed out both strong and revealing instances of natural innuendo, and slower instances - this fills a niche left by the endless man-obsessed descriptions of smooth, witty double-entendres.

In the weather for instance, the warm fronts which make their way back and forth across the maps occasionally present themselves nakedly, revealing their true secret - see image.

[edit] Innuendo in the Word "innuendo"

Some claim there is innuendo to be found in the word "innuendo," but they're just sick bastards with twisted and filthy minds.

“I'm gonna put my wiener in your buns”

~ Hot Dog vendor on Sexual Innuendo

“In Your Endo!”

~ The Todd on Sexual Innuendo

“You leave my endo alone, man! I had to follow my dog around for three days with a baggie to get it back, man.”

~ Tommy Chong on the Previous Quote

“It's obviously a cannon!”

~ Oscar Wilde on drawing phallic shaped objects

“When her father goes out the door, I come in-a-window.”

~ Groucho Marx on Sexual Innuendo

“You may be a cunning linguist, but I am a master debater.”

~ George W Bush on Sexual innuendos

[edit] The Masters of the Sexual Innuendo

Study these phrases well, given by the masters themselves, for they can barely contain their innuendic load before it is gushes forth will the full force of comedic thrust.

“Ho! Ho! Ho! Here comes Santa!”

~ Santa Claus a.k.a "The midnight prowler"

“If you've been a good girl, I'll be coming down your chimney tonight”

~ Santa Claus a.k.a "The silent crime"

“If you've been a bad boy, I'll be coming down your chimney tonight”

~ Santa Claus a.k.a "The artful throbber"

“Ho! Ho! Ho children! Who wants to feed Rudolf?”

~ Santa Claus a.k.a "The backdoor bandit"

“Let's see what Santa has in his sack for you...”

~ Santa Claus a.k.a "The jolly menace"

“Do you want a ride on my sleigh little girl?”

~ Santa Claus a.k.a "The red ravage"

“Ho ho ho little boy, have I got a surprise for you!”

~ Santa Claus a.k.a "The department store whore"

“Is this where all of the bad girls live?!”

~ Santa Claus a.k.a "Two lumps of coal"

[edit] Controversy

Over the years, several upstanding members of society have stood erect in the firm opinion that sexual innuendo has tainted the virginal waters of comedy with its rapid penetration into mainstream humour. These opinions grew in popularity over time, starting off slow but getting progressively faster and faster, reaching a climax around 1969. Since then, such opinions have drifted in and out of popular acceptance, though they are still held closely by those with a firm grasp on the subject. There have been many mass debates on this topic.

[edit] See also

• The Aristocrats
• Suppositories, also known as in-your-endos
• KINK - "the universal sign for sexual innuendo"

[edit] Also

• Clocks
• Seamonkies
• Leprechauns

[edit] External links

• Penisland
• Powergenitalia
• Whorepresents
• Expertsexchange
• NASA Clip
• Molestation
• Therapistfinder
• Youngs Insurance
• Speedofart

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