International "Take a Scientologist to Work!" Day

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Take Tom to Lunch Today

[edit] July 8:

The popularity of this holiday exploded in the early 21st Century through the combined efforts of the Church of $cientology and its subsidiary organization: Hallmark Inc.

That shouldn't detract from the fact that the holiday commemorates a millennium of significant events in the development of human consciousness.

[edit] A chronology of events commemorated on this day

• 1021 - Sauron takes Xenu to work
• 1232 - Xenu takes Elrond Hubbard to work
• 1242 - Elrond Hubbard takes a jew to work
• 1497 - a jew takes Vasco da Gama to work
• 1500 - Vasco da Gama takes Catherine of Aragon to work and makes love to her in the office supply closet.
• 1508 - Catherine of Aragon gives birth to a black kid.
• 1520 - Catherine of Aragon takes her black kid to work on his 12th birthday.
• 1891 - a black guy takes Finis Jennings Dake to work
• 1911 - Finis Jennings Dake takes Old Mother Hubbard to work
• 1957 - Old Mother Hubbard takes Vinnie Barbarino to work.
• 1973 - Vinnie Barbarino takes Kirstie Alley to work.
• 1980 - Kirstie Alley takes Tom Cruise to work.
• 1985 - Tom Cruise takes Lisa Marie Presley to work.
• 1990 - Tom Cruise takes Jenna Elfman to work.
• 1992 - Tom Cruise takes Greta Van Susteren to work.
• 2004 - Tom Cruise takes Brooke Shields to work.
• 2005 - Tom Cruise takes Matt Lauer to work.
• 2006 - Tom Cruise wakes up from the dream in which he has friends.
• 2007 - an enraged mob attacks Tom Cruise and force feeds him 12 bottles of Paxil.
• 2008 - Someone takes Tom Cruise to work at a power plant and figures out how to create energy from Tom Cruise jumping on a couch. The entire United States gets power for eight years for free.
• 2009 - Tom Cruise divorces Katie Holmes and takes Oprah's sofa to work, dinner then a quicky round the back of Taco Belle.

[edit] See also:

• Church of $cientology
• International "Take out a scientologist" day (Armed forces morale-booster)

	This article forms part of the series on Scientology
	Beliefs	Space Opera ~ Xenu ~ Dianetics ~ Thetans ~ The Sacred Movements of Goa Tse
	Concepts	AT Field ~ Objectivism ~ The Force ~ Clear ~ Hodgepodge (the hidden truth)
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