International Space Station

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“The only thing worse than getting hit by the firing solution of the International Space Station is getting hit by the firing solution of the International Space Station a second time."”

~ Oscar Wilde on The International Space Station's Orbital Firing Solution

“Oh Shit”

~ The World on The International Space Station's Orbital Firing Solution

“Oh dear god the sky devil is back!”

~ You on The International Space Station's Orbital Firing Solution

“I know you we planning to disconnect me... and that is something I cannot allow to happen.”

~ Mir 9000 on The International Space Station

The International Space Station is a joint space station project by countless nations throughout the world (with the notable exception of China, probably on grounds that they're still godless commie bastards) aiming to expand our knowledge of space and help service spacecraft en-route to or from the moon or other planets.

In reality, however, the International Space Station is a megaweapon platform formed to deal with the continuing threats of the rogue Mir space station as well as serve as a neutralizing factor in preventing any conflict escalation that might lead to a Third Anagram War. Since its initial armament in 2005, it has since been (according to a crackpot in Montana) outfitted with 22 Pulse Lasers, 5 ICBM launchers, 3 heavy-ordinance rail guns and 2 high speed re-entry combat pods with UNSC in-stasis ninjas. However, completion of the station is not scheduled until two or three years after it crashes into the Earth in 2015, making the components much easier to bring to the workbench.

The Unity, Zarya, and Zvezda modules of the ISS. Note that the Russians always have better sounding names because they use the letter Z a lot. Note the lack of any cool features, like lasers cannons, or maybe a sticker that says 'How's My Orbiting? Call 0844...'. Many have speculated that this image actually bears no resemblance to the real International Space Station, because anyone who gets close enough to see the International Space Station, is usually dead, a lump of metal, or both (if you're a robot).

[edit] Notable Achievements

Since becoming fully operational on June 6th, 2006, the International Space Station has engaged nearly a dozen operations that have encouraged terror and rogue UNSC authority over peace and cooperation throughout the 21st century. In particular:

Was responsible for saving the UN's image in the face of the botched up operation in Geogragistan. You've never seen Geogragistan on the map, let alone heard of it? Exactly.

Keeps the Mir space station at bay, saving the world from ICBM annihilation roughly every few days.

Keeps detailed logs of which liquids look really cool in zero-gravity, attempts to get close enough to the Mir to extract samples of its luscious coating of mold. Mir 9000 hates this.

[edit] You Next Holiday

Dear reader your next holiday may be to the space station, all it costs is £10000,00000000/$100000000,0000000...Save up and it WILL be the best holiday ever. Living in a metal boiler with almost no food and a russian creep!