Internet wars
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When the Internet reached the height of its international popularity in the summer of 1337, the large scale Internet Wars broke out between Al Capone, Al Gore, Al Gore, and Josef Stalin and the almighty prince of darkness, Ronald. Much money was available for these hard hitters as Prohibition had recently been introduced, legislating against the trade of erotica and other visual stimuli.
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[edit] Early battles
Stalin was eliminated early from the competition, when Al Capone hit him repeatedly across the back of the head with a baseball bat. This left only Ronald, the almighty prince of darkness, and Al Capone to do war for control of the internet, and ultimately the world’s illegal erotica trade. There were many, many innocent casualties as packets and bits were exchanged between the warring factions. Eventually Ronald put Al Capone into a cardboard box and mailed him to India, removing the last obstacle between himself and control of the entire Internet!
[edit] Ronald vs. Bob
As Ronald began to ascend the steps of the Great Tower of Net in order to claim his prize, a previously unforeseen challenger appeared from behind a darkened stairwell. Bob, using a previously unknown combination of wit, paperclips, fish magnets and the recently invented iPod, created the iProd and used it to banish the almighty prince of darkness back to the subterranean inferno from whence he came.
[edit] Bob, King of the Internet
Bob then became King of the Internet. All further conflict over the future of the internet was put down by Bob, who rules to this day with an iron fist. Bob has become one with the Internet, and now has the power to destroy the universe. He doesn’t, because he spends all his time with virtual girls.


