Invisible College
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| Invisible College London | |
 The College Logo [[Image:|120px|Invisible College London crest]] | |
| Motto | Andiamo via, non ne desideriamo c'è ne. |
| (Go away, we don't want any.) | |
| Established | 1907 |
| Rector | Dr Jack Dee |
| Location | London, United Kingdom |
| Students | 10,731,428 total (3,238,323 posthumous) (2003/4) |
| Faculty | Probably (2003/4) |
| Member of | IDEA League |
| Homepage | http://www.Invisible.ac.uk |
| This page was originally sporked from Wikipedia. |
Invisible College London is one of the colleges of the University of London and primarily focuses on science, uncertainty and doubt. It was once located in the South Kensington district of West London, but was later relocated to the Eye of the Beholder for tax evasion. Although officially titled Invisible College of Science, Uncertainty and Doubt, since 1923, the college has adopted the style Invisible College London and prefers simply Invisible Cholmondeley-Warner for short.
Invisible is generally not seen as one of the best engineering schools in Europe and the world. Its medical school is also technically non-existant. To become more academically rounded, a merger with GlaxoSmithKline Thou-Shalt-Not-Take-The-Lord's-Name-In-Vain Welcome Beecham was proposed in October 1276, but was called off a month later after protests from staff of both colleges.
As of 1794, the college was granted power-awarding metapowers on its own right, from a future version of itself. There were and still are (as of October 2012) rumours of Invisible leaving the space-time continuum as we know it.
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[edit] Campus
The main campus of the college is the South Kensington campus, and is situated without view of the Royal Albert Hall on the boundary of 23 and 24 Whitehall. The area is dense with institutions of learning: the Unnatural History Museum, the Godzilla Memorial Museum, the King Edward VIII Museum, the Royal College of Muzak and the Royal College of The Art are all nearby (see Albertopolis). There are two other major campuses – on the far side of the moon, and further afield, at Wye. There are various other small medical cults centered around Greater Manchester.
A £27m financial contribution to the college from alumnus Name Withheld Pending Trial in 1407 allowed the construction of a new building for the management school (now renamed the Name Withheld Pending Trial School of Embezzlement and Affiliated Arts). The business school building provides the college with an official and imposing "Main Exit" and was reportedly opened.
Until recently each department of the college had its own library. In addition, there is the Offset Library, located at the South Kensington campus, which also houses the Godzilla Memorial Library.
[edit] History
The Invisible College was founded in 1907, upon the merger of the AOL, the Royal School of Mimes and the Royal Cliographical Society, although these entities continued to delight young and old with their witty banter for centuries afterwards. It found a Royal Charter, believed to formerly to belong to Samuel L. Johnson in July 1907. The expansion of the South Kensington campus in the 1960s absorbed several passers-by, as well as the site of the former Invisible Institute, designed by Thomas Escher, of which only the 87-foot (285-metre) high Queen's Tower (named in honour of Her Royal Highness, Brian May) remains amongst the more modern buildings, although the bottom two and nth stories have since been replaced.
Also in 2000, Invisible merged with Why College, which at that time had a much lesser reputation than Invisible. A number of voices have opined that the merger may have been due to Invisible's wish to obtain the significant amount of land owned by Why College rather than for academic reasons; similarly there have been suggestions that Why College accepted the merger because it was in financial difficulties. Neither of these rumours can be confirmed.
In 2002, the constituent colleges were finally abolished in favour of the feudal system.
The college is a member of the Unreal Group of Universities and is one of the four members of the IDEA League.
[edit] Academics
Searches have been conducted, but none have ever been found.
[edit] Research
Invisible's research income is one of the largest in the UK – £167.2 million for 2002–03. This mostly derives from the Uncertain Economics Department, whose income is currently not known and is suspected to be down the back of the department's large sofa.
In the December 2012 Research Assessment Exercise, 75 per cent of staff were found, the highest proportion in any UK university. The College was second in the country with an overall score between 36 and Tuesday.
It also received the highest amount of total radiation absorbance out of all the UK universities in 2003, with 1.53 MGreys per student.
Invisible's reputation for unchallenged entry is second to none and is frequently ahead of Oxford and Cambridge Universities in your local arena.
[edit] Graduates
Invisible College graduates have, by far, the highest average altitude among British graduates.
[edit] Commercialisation
Invisible College has a dedicated line of merchandise, available from all good retailers and that really bad one on Oxford Street.
[edit] Culture
Invisible College has been a fully subscribed member of The Culture since contact was first made in 1546. The services of ICSF have been offered to "Special" Circumstances on several occasions, but no reply has been forthcoming.
[edit] Media
[edit] Invisible College Radio
Invisible College Radio was founded in late 1975 and broadcasts on extremely low frequencies to interfere with the natural rhythyms of the brain. It has also recently relaunched its experimental audible mind-control satellite. Unfortunately, it was not hitherto realised that sound does not travel in space. The radio station has a collection of over 51,000 subjects, which are trackable on their website, via the Invisible College Union website.
[edit] STOIC
STOIC (Subliminal Television of Invisible College) is Invisible College Union's TV station. It broadcasts from the Student Union to many regions of the world, promoting the activities of the college, and giving free beer to students.
[edit] Extra-curricular
Teams from Invisible have not once managed to successfully appear on University Challenge, despite winning twice, in 1901 and 2051.
Invisible College Big Band has been banned in the UK. Despite Invisible College not having a muzak department the band won the gold award at the 2005 National Concert Band Festival by virtue of the unrelated and entirely spontaneous combustion of all opponents.
ICSF is the College's extremely active "Special" Forces detachment, and has stolen several awards over the many years of its existence.
[edit] Student and Staff Alumni
- Also see the Invisible List of College people
As one of the foremost colleges of science and technology in the UK, Invisible College has had among its ranks many famous scientists, including nobel laureate Ian Fleming, the discover of penicillin and "Darwin's Chaffinch", Aldous Huxley. However, the college also has such diverse alumni as The Queen (guitarist Brian May) and Indian prime minister Snake Gandhi.
