Irrational
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“If my name is Bob the Blob, irrational is NOT a word.”
~ Bob the Blob on Irrational
This is one of many words banned by the Australian Big Brother. Their argument for banning it was as follows: If slavery is freedom, which must be true because Big Brother says so, then irrational is not a word. QED. And if you argue with me, wanker, we'll just send you off to the Thought Police.
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[edit] Origin
The word is derived from "I-Ration-Al", which is a phrase invented by the Ancient Greeks. After losing a challenge on Jeopardy: Naxos (which involved memorizing the ballad "Albuquerque"), their shopping budget was reduced to 50.27 drachmas. Since none of these philosophers had the intelligence to use a calculator, which at the time, 500 BC, was practically indistinguishable from a sundial, and conversion rate to the dollar being somewhat shaky, seeing as the dollar did not yet exist or was made of wampum, they were forced to nominate Al for digestion. He politely refused, but they were about to eat him when they discovered he didn't fit in the oven with his accordion. So they tossed him in the blender with 50 drachmas worth of sauerkraut, accordion and all, and rationed out one cupful of this gooey, accordion-saturated mixture per day to each philosopher until the Romans invaded. A lone Frenchman invaded with the Romans, whose name was Gerard Louis, and with his typical French taste for disgusting food, he tried some of the gooey mixture and promptly became known as the "Genius in France".
[edit] Aftermath
This Genius (as he was later known by Big Brother), later met a somewhat unfortunate end, having committed suicide after realizing that Al had been reincarnated, along with his pet duck, Bruce, (who had been eaten earlier) in 1959. Al and Bruce were later re-eaten, by grues and other fearsome creatures. As was also mentioned, Al, in this incarnation, was eaten twice by a tyrannosaurus rex. It is unclear when exactly he died, but we do know that he was reincarnated yet again in 1998, but the gods had taken mercy on him by correcting his notoriously bad eyes, in exchange for his mustache. Technically speaking, this was not reincarnation proper, as his body was still around somewhere and nothing had changed about it except the eyes. The eyes were actually those of that kid from Jeepers Creepers. Al thought they were cute. In fact, he used them when he invented the Internet, which Al obviously did. But I digress.
[edit] Modern Usage
This word is generally used nowadays to describe when a group of people, or anything else, are starving and rationing someone named Al. In a slight variation, in 1993 an irritated T-Rex said to another, "I am NOT rationing Al", and ate Al all by himself. This phrase was also used in 1992, when an alien said, "I ration Al", then abducted and served up the late Al Roker. The Al Roker you see now is just an alien, like Men in Black says.
[edit] Logical Usage
In logic, the word "irrational" is often used to describe something that makes about as much sense as eating Al, who is a vegetarian and wouldn't taste good anyway. So, if you hear someone say, "That's irrational!" it means that what you're doing is about as dumb as eating Al. I think those were Al's last words before the T-Rex ate him.
[edit] Who is Al?
I don't know, but I think you just ate him.
