Island of L'aard
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The Island of L'aard is an island, no smaller than a large mini-mall. In the year 1348, young Oprah Winfrey escaped her family of Circus clowns and swam to the island. She lived here for a while and split into several beings, each more rotund than the last. In the end, Oprah was cast out of the island by her bastardized clones and retreated back to the shores to grow in powerful powery power, vowing to eventually claim revenge.
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[edit] History
You just read it. Then they formed a government-which was closely based upon Anarchy and Communism. They also did other stuff. Their Grande Priestess is Earthshake Almighty the Rumblass, who lives an unsure life and is still working on consuming her own body until she dies. She is halfway through her arm, but she has already consumed her legs and her left ear and replaced them with a trumpet and a 6 foot bong.
[edit] Economy
The currency of L'aard is chocolate, the value of which skyrockets after the first few hours of creation, which is actually the problem since it also literally skyrockets and tends to kill massive amounts of the citizens. The L'aardian with the last unit of chocolate is usually slaughtered then eaten. Main export is butter, which they cultivate from farms. Their trading partner is Litenfiskutanhjärna.
[edit] Flora
The lush variety of plants, vegetables, and fruit that spring up like miracles of life on this island are entirely wasted. Most are picked and set as traps for the island's indigenous wildlife and then discarded. there is also a large supply of peyote cactus and it is the main reason why the young oprah ran away and swam all the way to that island in the first place. This phenomenon also may explain the odd rituals associated with this island.
[edit] Fauna Spotlight: The Esebo Jiggleleeches
A natural miracle of the L'aardians is their ability to perspire their own body fat. During the hot days under the equatorial sun, a L'aardian is able to sweat out 17 pounds of grease before the afternoon. When not balled up by the L'aardians to skip across the sea into ocean liners, the fat slithers off and gathers to become sentient. Immune to sneak attack and critical hits, the Esebo Jiggleleeches can reach up to 9 feet in length and can move at the rate of one foot per round and also gain a flaming breath weapon. The L'aardian women are often helpless to the greater speed of the monsters and are drowned in the same oils that they leaked.
[edit] Technology
While no modern technology exists, the L'aardians are the masters of lubricants. Their secondary export of lubricants covers the gamut from axle grease, to WD40, to KY Jelly, to many of the worlds finest anal lubricants. These are primarily made from various juices secreted by the Esebo Jiggleleeches. When the L'aardians are not consuming the secretions like morbidly obese velociraptors, they collect the juices in a bag and wait for a plane to pick them up.
Recently the L'aardians have taken to eating the planes as well. This has contributed to an economic recession; you wouldn't know it though, it's not like the L'aardians are getting thinner or anything.
