Isle of Wight Project
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This is the isle of Wight project, if you are looking for the Isle of Wight then you should know it got replaced in 1066.
| The Sovereign Realm of the Wight Isle
| The Coat of Arms
|
| Official language | An English dialect featuring owl noises. |
| Capital | Adamandeve |
| King | King Adam IV |
| Population | 6,999 |
| Area | 380 km² |
| Established | 1066 |
| Motto | "I Dont Adam'and'Eve It" |
| Currency | The Adam (^) |
| National anthem | White and Nerdy, Composed by Weird Al Yankovic |
| National Sports | Stamp Collecting, Cat Racing |
| National Products | Trees, Cat Litter, Kittens, Postboxes |
| Country code Top Level Domain | .adam .eve .guhuh! |
| Exports | Cat Litter, Apples, False Teeth, Chalk, Cat Wool, Hemp |
| Imports | Anything that washes ashore |
The Isle of Wight, or The Isle of Wight Project as it is known in Vatican City and MI5 records is an ongoing experiment to discover the merits of inbreeding and how to exploit it for the good of the few. This took place on the isle of Wight, a large multi coloured chalk island of the south coast of england, access to the island is permited, but not recomended. The project involved two humanoids, one male, one presumed female and a a gang of cats for good measure. The experiment is designed to prove that the bible can be taken literaly and is set to be terminated at an unanounced date. Once the experiment ends the the cats will rehomed, the humans butcherd and fed to the poor in a hearty broth and the island dissolved with Cillit Bang.
Contents |
[edit] What is the Experiment?
The experiment started in 1066 involved placing a male, named Adam, and a woman, called Eve, on the Isle of Wight. This was funded by the papacy to prove the bible correct by proving one can populate an island with just two people, Cats were also added to the island as a source of food and slave labour for there human overlords. Many governments are also intrested in seeing what bizarre and potentialy lucrative human traits will be brought about through inbreeding, it was suggested that to look at inbreeding one should just go to france, but this idea was deemed less fun and involved too many french people.
[edit] Original Island Population 1066
Humans: 2
Cats: 50
Post Boxes: 7
[edit] Island Population as of 2006
Humans: 6,999
Cats: 1000
Post Boxes: 77
Yeti's: 87
Horses: 500
Mega Cats: 143
[edit] Early Social History
When the population reached 101 in 1137 as a clear result of inbreeding (this surprisingly happened in just 4 generations) the cats had reached a population of 777, since Adam and Eve had 7 children, 7 became an important number, there were 777 hundred cats and so many believed them gods and worshiped them. After Adams grandson King Adam III began the drawing of maps it was found that there were 7 post boxes on the islands, many people then began depositing sacrafices into the post boxes, when they became full the sacrafices spewed out, the post box worshipers thought that there gods were angy at something, they decided they must be displeased at cat worship and began culling cats.
The group then broke into 2 tribes, the cat tribe and the posties. When The Cat Population had Reduced to 7 the Cat tribe decided it was time for action, there then ensued a great civil war reducing the islands human population from 350 to 130, In 1204 King Adam IV having had enough of the fighting threatened to bang there heads together if they didn't stop, thus ending the war. This war caused a further lowering of the gene pool, this began the slow mutations of some on the island.
[edit] Mutations
By 1375 mutations had set in:
The Cat tribe being sensitive caring people shunned the more brutish members of the group, the brutes interbred continualy until a new subspecies was formed: The Yeti.
In 1235 a freakish child was born to the postie tribe called Horsey Harry, Horsey Harry had buck teeth, was strong and could run very fast , one day Harry saved a post box from being peed on by a cat, many of the girls found him heroic for his actions and he mated with many of them, this caused a new sub species: the Horse.
[edit] Mega Cats
As a result of the war of 1200 limiting the cat gene pool cats began to get smarter, eventually some turned into mega cats, capable of speech, but incapable of lies. If a cat ever lied it would throw up a fur ball. Their mutation was accelerated by there faster breeding rate and the 1st Mega cat, Sir Tinkerbell was born in 1302. This only fuelled cat worship.
[edit] Nuns
In 1318 a nun arrived on the island to convert the peoples to christianity, the mega cats seeing this as a threat to there power ate the nun. After a bout of food poisoning they decided from now on they would be peaceful and cook food properly.
[edit] General Society
By 1320 the islanders had formed towns these are seen in the 1324 census:
- Adamandeves (the capital)
Population: 400
- Catsville (owned by the cats tribe).
Population: 1000
- The Post Office (owned by the posties)
Population 980
- The Plantation (owned by the mega cats)
Population: 17
[edit] Tribes
The Cat Tribe worship cats in a large temple that resemlbes a litter tray.
They wear clothes made from woven cat fur trousers with symbolic tails and a hoodie like top with fake cat ears on the hood. The Yeti sub-species often wear waist coats and shorts with tail.
Popular Cat Tibe names are:
Males:
- Adam
- Felix
Females:
- Eve
- Kitty
Wearing a collar is a sign of marriage and wearing furball necklasses is popular amongst the youth.
The Posties Tribe worship in a stone henge like structure made of post boxes, sacrafices are posted in and once a month they are distributed to the poor.
Postie women wear rubarb (red) stained hemp dresses resembeling post boxes. Postie men wear blueberry stained hemp trousers and waist coats. The Horse subspecies wear the same but in larger sizes due to there larger build and longer legs.
Popular Cat Tibe names are:
Males:
- Adam
- Pat
Females:
- Eve
- Jessie
[edit] Royalty
The King or Queen of the Island belong to neither tribe and keep the peace on the island, the throne is passed on to the oldest child of the monarch regardless of gender, they may marry a person from any tribe and more recently sub species, many also worship them as they believe the royals are decended from the mating between a cat and a postbox.
The Royals originally lived amongst the two tribes but built a castle to protect themselves in the war of 1200, this is because King Adam IV had a stub of a tail and didn't want to be seen as pro-cat. This castle then grew into the capital Adamandeves where the royals still resides in there chalk palace.
Many Kings enjoy having Handlebar moustashes (this is where the symbol for the currency, the adam, comes from : ^ ), and many Queens enjoy crazy hair styles such as the beehive.
Past Monarchs:
- King Adam I : 1066 - 1101
- King Adam II : 1101 - 1136
- King Adam III : 1136 - 1173
- King Adam IV : 1173 - 1206
- Queen Eve I : 1206 - 1209
- King Wighty : 1209 - 1220
- Queen Eve II : 1220 - 1301
- Queen Needles I : 1301 - 1336
- King Stumpy : 1339 - 1385
- Queen Stumpina : 1385 - 1411
- King Bulimia Nervosa I : 1411 - 1411
- Queen Nervosa : 1411 - 1423
- King Bulimia Nervosa II : 1423 - 1477
- Queen Needles II : 1477 - 1533
- Queen Eve III : 1533 - 1578
- King Adam V : 1578 - 1600
- King Adam VI : 1600 - 1653
- King Adam VII : 1653 - 1677
- King Adam VIII : 1677 - 1700
- King Sevendam : 1700 - 1777
- Queen Sevendeve I : 1777 - 1802
- Queen Sevendeve II : 1802 - 1837
- King Aslan I : 1837 - 1889
- King Aslan II : 1899 - 1920
- Queen Laboratoire Garnier : 1920 - 1953
- King Adam IX : 1953 - 1990
- King Adam X : 1990 - Present
[edit] Island Facts
In England many things are priced £9.99, on the isle of Wight things are often priced ^7.77
On the Isle of Wight there are 100& (Eves) to the ^ (Adam)
Stamp collecting and Furball foraging are very popular past times.
