It's hard out here for a pimp

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“Really? I always found it quite easy.”

~ Oscar Wilde on pimping

“Waaaaoooouughhh!”

~ Chewbacca on pimping

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about It's hard out here for a pimp.

The pimp for whom it is hard out there.

"It's hard out here for a pimp" is the core tenet of every belief system on the planet. Every religion, philosophy, idea or crude joke in the world can be traced back to these five words. And a vowel. Thank you Vanna White. ^[1]

[edit] History

Fortunately for historians, there is a complete document, passed down through the ages, describing in minute detail the entire history of this most important phrase.

It's called, The Bible. Though most translations leave out the following data, more radical historians have come to agree with Professor J. Wayne, PHd on his 1965 translation:

[edit] Biblical Translation

In the Bible, Episode 1 (A New Hope) God ^[2] says:

EXT - BLACKNESS - DAY

GOD:
Damn!  For shizzle it's black as night out here!

No response.

GOD: 
Yo! Any brothas up in heah?

No response.

GOD:
It's hard, out here, for a pimp!

God pulls out his 9 and BLASTS the universe into existence.

[edit] Industrial Uses

God who we quoteth here.

Following the Enron scandal in 512 BC, Amy Lee, then only 12 years old, discovered that everyone involved was innocent because, as she put it, "It was hard, out here, for a pimp - and a vampire!"

[edit] Health and Safety

Many pimps can lead to a sudden loss of consciousness if inhaled in large amounts. Pimps like E-Rad and Chocho have been used as narcotics for a long time. E-Rad is a widely used and abused psychoactive drug. Chocho and many other pimps (e.g. from gasoline or glues) are used recreationally in kitten huffing, often with harmful long term health effects like neurotoxicity or cancer or permanent blindness. In other words, it's hard up in there for a pimp.

[edit] References

1. ↑ Any connection with the American film Hustle & Flow should be ignored. You don't see it. It's not there.
2. ↑ God is, of course, played by Jean Luc Picard doing Britney Spears. The video of Picard doing Britney is available at Walmart.