January

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Pieter Jan uary was elected the first month of the year in 2 AD, just barely beating out Tony Blair, but far ahead of John Howard in the communist party. When it was impeached 5 thousand years later after a nasty conflict with November (See below), it wandered around the fourth dimension for many years, heavily drinking. It was found later, cleaned up, and then elected the 52nd state, after confusion. You can now visit January 24-7 just after December but before February. While supplies last!

[edit] Battle of January

The following conflict was recorded on live TV for all to see in the year 4629, although everyone who watched it had their heads exploded, as watching higher-dimensional beings do battle does that to you. Luckily, we were ably to obtain a copy of the second-dimensional recording, which is just text. One thing about January!

Spiderman nananananananananananananana batman nananananananananananananananananan i love men!

January, nearly beaten, clutching its time-woven chest, days hanging in tatters off its bones, staggers back a few steps. November chuckles maniacally to itself. Then, a harsh growl, "So, January, you thought you had the chronoballs to go up again me, didja?"

January tightens its grip on its time-mace, breathing heavily. "No, November," it whispers, spitting hours, "This isn't for me ... This is for all the months."

It darts forward, screaming, with every word a full-strength mace-based-hack at its foe. "This is for May!" BASH "This is for February!" CRACK "This is for October and Smarch, collectively!" THUD WHACK "And this is for April, my one true love!" CRUNCH

January looks down, down at the bloody corpse of November. January gasps pathetically, digs its fingers into its chest, and falls to the ground. He screams, "La La La"

The newscaster, smiles and turns to the camera. "Well," he begins, "You have just witness the hilari- horrible, sorry- death of November. Time-Space Fabric Paramedics are on their way, but we will have to see what will become of January and the survivors of the November family in the days to come." He then smiles at the camera and says, "Next up we have the Cthulu Kitty! How is that possible? Well have the Cthulu hubby and his little lady, the cat that wasn't afraid to say, 'Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!'. "Oh my God, the Cthulu Kitty has just malled Doub-O!!!" "What an exciting way to end this cold and sad day for the Calendar." 123 days later this world we know is just one big hell hole

everyone hates everyone else and no one caresabout anyone else all anyone cares about is growing upa nd reproducing and now the ppl are haveing sex at age 5

oh yea this was written by ronald mcdonald of dallas, pa

[edit] See Also

• Summer
• List of January Anniversaries
• Doub-O