Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/January 21

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January 21: National Dirty Sanchez Your Dad's Coffee Day, Day of Tribulation

Coffee Enema

• 1000 BC - Vikings land on an inhospitable island they call Niv Iaerssei; this event later forms the backbone of The Saga of Rigaatoni Pennesson.
• 1592 - Elmunsucío Sánchez Columbus discovers Atlantis.
• 1654 - John Morrisey drinks too much coffee and gets a vision of a gigantic coffee empire, with himself riding on a male star deer.
• 1781 - Benedict Arnold, tired of being called "Eggs Benedict" by George Washington, sells out to the British. He later begins a travelling show, called Hey Arnold!
• 1850 - Millard Fillmore installs the White House's first bathtub.
• 1915 - First Kiwanis Club Meeting. To this day they still can't figure out what their purpose is, but constantly argue over who has the better wife.
• 1996 - Former Pink Floyd frontman Syd Barrett climbs the Empire State Building; some blonde chick knocks him off.
• 2000 - Aaron Copland conquers the Martians... Historians vote "Best day... Ever"
• 2008 - Tom Hanks falls off a bridge; there is much rejoicing.
• 2013 - Bob Barker dies from a Viagra overdose.
• 2036 - Tracy Morgan wins gold medal in Olympic Stand-up. Adam Sandler comes in third.