Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/January 22

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January 22: National Cover-Up Day (USA)

• 1012 - The second coming did not happen.
• 1492 - Nothing happened. You didn't see anything.
• 1776 - The United States of America was always unquestionably free.
• 1812 - We had reasonable cause to attack.
• 1847 - The United States retaliated against a Mexican surprise attack.
• 1861 - The United States was always united.
• 1917 - The United States irrefutably wins World War I in late-inning heartstopper.
• 1945 - The United States irrefutably wins World War II in extra time.Germans claim the ball had not crossed the line.England don't care.
• 1965 - The United States irrefutably wins the Vietnam War in seven games.
• 1974 - President Nixon finishes out his "optional" term of office.
• 2001 - Heavy winds cause the World Trade Center towers to weaken.
• 2003 - The United States irrefutably wins the War in Iraq in a 4-game whitewash.
• 2005 - It is the policy of this Administration not to discuss ongoing investigations.
• 2006 - Global Warming? What Global Warming?
• 2007 - There is no Grand Conspiracy.
• 2012 - The world will not end.