Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/January 31
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
< Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries(Redirected from January 31)
January 31: National Ice Cream Day
- 201 AD - Ice cream is invented in Rome, but it quickly melts due to the lack of refrigerators. Everyone is forced to slurp it.
- 1551 - French explorers with sensitive teeth die exploring Northern Africa after keeling over in pain from eating ice cream, leaving themselves open to attack by savage tribesmen who quickly beheaded them.
- 1819 - Heinrich Maanschweisener creates a means to produce dots from ice cream; he is defenestrated later that year on the orders of Baron Rottweil von Friendly, who fears for his monopoly on frozen treats.
- 1949 - Friendly's loses contract to sell ice cream in China and is denied renewed funding by the U.S. government.
- 1960 - Vespugian president Manuel del Caracos, on a tour of America, drowns when he falls into a flash-freezer at the Pittsburgh Dippin' Dots factory.
- 1979 - Ben and Jerry's "Popped Cherry" ice cream is a hit.
- 1971 - The first ice cream stand is opened in Moscow, Russia, but quickly seized by the government.
- 1989 - Alexei Kalashnikov, proprietor of a meager Baskin Robins parlor in Stalingrad, defects to the West and takes the secret recipe for Dippin' Dots with him.
- 1991 - Dunkin' Donuts loses a hedge-trimming contest to Dairy Queen.
- 2007 - Coaticook brand ice cream hits shelves in Quebec, next to other ice creams.
- 2008 - Coaticook goes ahead with first ever ice cream referendum, demanding that they have their own shelf.
- 2085 - Dippin' Dots production headquarters are obliterated by an Iranian superweapon; Friendly's rejoices.
