Jean Chrétien
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“No, a proof is a proof. What kind of a proof? It's a proof. A proof is a proof, and when you have a good proof, it's because it's proven.”
~ Jean Chrétien on Proof
“That Shawinigan Handshake, it's deadly!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Shawinigan Handshakes
“DID YOU SEE THAT HEAD OF HIS?!”
~ Bashar Assad on Jean Chrétien
Jean Chrétien, better known to U.S. presidents by his nickname Gene Cretin or Jean Poutine, was the Prime Minister of Canada from 1993 to 2003. According to Kim Campbell, Jean Chrétien is a beautiful man.
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| Rank: | 20th |
| Predecessor: | Kim Campbell |
| Successor: | Mr. Dithers |
| Date of Birth: | January 11, 1934 |
| Place of Birth: | Shawinigan, Quebec |
| Spouse: | Aline Chrétien |
| Political Party: | Lieberal_Party_of_Canada |
Chrétien won three straight elections and nine gay ones, beating a motley collection of Reformista Albertans, Quebec Separatists, Rump Progressive Conservatives, and NDP leaders that would probably go unrecognized at their own nomination speeches.
He got elected in 1993, promising to overdo everything Brian Mulroney did, but in a shocking first for the Western World, several of his campaign promises were not kept. Considering his staunch anti-GST campaign, Chrétien's decision to rename the province of Alberta "GST-world" was rather controversial with some voters.
Chrétien was known for not really knowing English or French and in Quebec was dubbed as a "man of two second languages" or Le Grande Petit Pois. His comical antics delighted Canadians, and were often likened to those of a minstrel show. Police considered charging him for the deaths of hundreds of linguists who ended their own lives after watching his speeches, but later gave up after not being able to get a confession.
During his later years as prime minister, he was philosophical, expounding on what proof really was.
Chrétien was later deposed in a violent coup by Paul Martin who proclaimed himself "Lord of the Canadas" and exiled Chrétien to the Island of Lost Souls (a.k.a. Newfoundland).
He currently serves as President of SUNY Plattsburgh where he often smokes marijuana and urges decriminalization of pot.
[edit] The Little Red Book
During his second term as Prime Minister, Chrétien introduced two concepts to politics, responsible government and the hideous political blunder; both physically manifested with Chrétien's Little Red Book.
To be re-elected he wrote this book of promises that his government would fulfill if re-elected. He swore on his Mother's grave and pleaded and begged. Upon re-election, he swiftly neglected to mention the book ever again.
Chrétien also, unknowingly at the time, referenced Mao's little red book thus admitting that he was a Red Liberal.
| Preceded by: Kim Campbell | Prime Minister of Canada 1993-2003 | Succeeded by: Paul Martin |
| Prime Ministers of Canada | 
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|---|---|---|
| Macdonald | Mackenzie | Abbott | Thompson | Bowell | Tupper | Laurier | Borden | Meighen | King | Bennett | St. Laurent | Diefenbaker | Pearson | Trudeau | Clark | Turner | Mulroney | Campbell | Chrétien | Martin | Harper | ||
