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“I prefer to scoot around in my Chevrolet El Camino personally, but it lacks 4-wheel drive which can cause some problems offroad...”

~ Oscar Wilde on Jeeps

“Beep Beep Beep. You're in Jeepee's path,get off the Jeep's path. Beep Beep.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Jeeps

“It looks like a puma to me”

~ Grif on Pumas/Warthogs

“A Jeep and a sheep is cheap!”

~ Retard on Jeeps

“In Soviet Russia, Jeep drives YOU!”

~ Russian Reversal on Driving a Jeep

“Jeeps cause Cancer!”

~ Dr Acula on Jeeps

A jeep is a type of automobile. It is larger than a car and smaller than a lorry, creating its own category in terms of automotive transport.

[edit] About

The Jeep is a benevolent Creature, known for its hardiness and uncontrollable fury when enraged. They have been known to rip apart entire large SUVs and sedans if upset, but are otherwise peaceful creatures. They enjoy spending time outside, finding garages to be dark and cramped, limiting their freedom to roam freely. They base their diet off of moderate octane gasoline, but have been known to consume trees, shrubs, bushes, and small animals to provide energy. They are quite maneuverable vehicles, some even possess the ability to rotate in place to face any desired direction. By doing so, they do their equivalent of a donut, a donut hole.

People who own jeeps don't need to turn - the world turns for them. Dr.Z, The CEO of Daimler-Chrysler takes a break from combing his mustache to tell us the secret of the jeep's incredible turning radius

[edit] History of the Jeep

The Jeep has existed since the concept of poor fuel mileage, and it's lineage will live on, rusting far into the future. The Jeep has the uncanny ability to drive over just about anything, and only breaks one axle for each rock it traverses. Much improved over the average car, which will break two axles for every rock it traverses.

The rusting first started in World War One, which pitted the Jeep against its then foe, the Mercedes-Benz GL class. The jeeps fought alongside many Fords and Chevrolets in this war, but they did not get along as well as Allied Commanders had predicted due to the lack of quality of Chevrolets and Fords. World War Two aggravated these tensions and following the end of the war, Jeep realized that their Jeeps would rust a little less if combined with metal from Mercedes-Benz. Jeep joined forces with Mercedes-Benz spreading joy and fear as they swept away all that stood before them, but soon the tides turned.

GM realized that the Chevrolet could not fight Jeep and so it created both GMC and Hummer to try and stop the onslaught while Ford responded with the Lincoln and Land Rover. This tactic worked until Operation Desert Storm when the United States Military demanded a new rusting machine and went to jeep for help. Jeep brought them the M1A1 Abrams tank, which quickly crushed all that lay before it in Iraq and then returned to the United States to rust in a garage the rest of it's life, consuming fuel all the while.

Other Jeeps have come out such as the Liberty, Grand Cherokee, Compass, and Commander. However these are not real Jeeps and should be scorned by all real Jeep drivers. Real Jeepers only drive crudely built and rusted-out CJs with pillows strapped to their ass for lack of decent seat support. They all go by the name of Billy-Bob, and go on week-end Jeep Jim-Bo-Rees to wallows like pigs in mud puddles and run over possums, squirrels and other roadkill to bring home to their half-sister wives, who all go by the name Billy-Jean. Any one driving anything other is considered not a real-American but is an unechukatid rich yuppie from New York City who has no right to bear the Jeep logo, or have an eighty-inch Sealy Posturepedic spring mattress lift with Wal*Mart brand tires, or knows nothing about what it is like to get stranded on a 3 foot bolder with a broken axle with no Land Rovers around to tow their hill-billy asses back to the Sears Auto Center.

After 2001 only one Jeep lives on, the Wrangler, since the end of the Cherokee, the only real practical and yet capable Jeep rusted away in 2001

[edit] Care

Jeeps do not need to be kept inside at all times like other cars, and like to spend nights outside during some nights if it is warm and nice out, however, they do not like to stay out in the rain while sleeping as they greatly dislike waking up with water in on their bodies. The jeep should be kept in a garage during cold winters, extremely hot summers, rainy springs, and during fall when leaves might fall on it during the night. Jeeps require the same oil and engine care of many other cars, however, they have the uncanny ability to inform their drivers when they wake up if they will need service in the near future.

[edit] Who needs a jeep?

The following people need jeeps:

1. Charles Simons
2. Japanese people (the cool kind, not the kind that make Japanese cars)
3. Kevin Bacon
4. Kyle Bacon
5. Crispy Bacon
6. Girls who used to be hot back in the late 80's early 90's but are now ugly and with bad tans that in reality just bring out the wrinkles under their arms
7. People who dont like little kids
8. People who like to see nature and drive over the odd small tree now and again
9. Cool people
10. Brian Peppers
11. Me
12. Jimmy B
13. Everyone on the Jeeptalk Forum
14. H2 Drivers (If they're Worthy)
15. People from Colden
16. Canadian People

[edit] Who Doesnt Deserve a Jeep?

1. Weasel
2. black people
3. Jews
4. Mexicans
5. Christy aka Brain Ninja

[edit] Jeep facts

1. Jeeps are the only regenerating vehicles ever made
2. Not often known to be fast, Jeeps will still surpass 85 MPH and reach "M" from time to time
3. The Jeep 4.0L I6 has been rumored to make a growl so incredible, it will scare supernatural beings
4. It is reputed that the Exxon Valdez was infact a large Jeep Wrangler prototype.
5. A Jeep is the only rusty car that you can impress chicks with
6. Jeep-like rip-offs are popular worldwide. For example, the automaker Toyota, of Japan, produces the "Jaap".