Jefferson Starship
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[edit] Development
In 1801, President Thomas Jefferson built the Jefferson Airplane as a means to quickly transport his illegitimate mulatto children somewhere the press wouldn't discover them. After many successful flights, Jefferson's children became fascinated with aeronautics. In 1805, President Jefferson started MASsA so his children could continue their research and begin development on the starship. His ultimate goal for the administration was to have all his illegitimate mulatto children fly to the Moon where they would live in peace and not burdon his political career.
According to folklore, the starship was nothing more than a coal furnace bolted to a horser corn silo. No one is absolutely sure how the ship was constructed. The original blueprints were lost in a great fire which was extinguished by a great flood.
[edit] The Mission to the Moon
On December 24th, 1807, with the Jefferson Starship completed, the President's children embarked upon their mission. The starship made it out of the Earth's atmosphere without any problems, and 438 days later they finally arrived at the Moon. Despite a rough landing, all of the children managed to make it to the Moon unharmed. That is, until, they decided to open the doors for a breath of the fresh "Moon air". The children quickly learned that there was no air on the Moon, and all 71 of the Jefferson kids suffocated. Their bodies were discovered 160 years later by Neil Armstrong on the Apollo 11 mission, who was quoted as saying, "That's one small step for man, one giant leap for.. Dear God! There's a pile of dead mulatto children up here!" Of course, Thomas Jefferson had no way of knowing the ultimate fate of his children. He would often point to the sky as a sign of affection, such as when he won the Grammy for Best Country Vocal For Males Under 75 for his song "I've Got Illegitimate Mulatto Children In Literally High Places (Wink, Wink)".
[edit] Cultural References
- The Jefferson Starship was the name of the ship in the popular children's cartoon from the 1980's The Moonlattos. The series was created by German born cartoonist Püpo and is based on Thomas Jefferson's illegitimate mulatto children's mission to the Moon.
- There was a construction company called Jefferson Starship who was well respected in the industry due to their success with using Rock n Roll as raw materials for garages and tree houses. Unfortunately, their method proved disastrous when they discovered that an entire city could not be sustained merely by Rock n Roll and the company went bankrupt.
