Jennifer Love Hewitt

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Jennifer Love Hewitt is God's gift to the Earth, an actress whose "talent", about half of the world's population appreciates.

“Sure let's call it that.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Talent

It should be noted that some have referred to her as "too skinny", but that's usually out of frustration from the knowledge that they will never get to love Love, or even put her talents to the test.

Rumors about her being a virgin are as real as Demi Moore's breasts.

[edit] TV

She started her career jumping up and down in the Disney Channel. It was a relative success, but the squares at Disney had a fit when they realised that the kids watching her show had to shave on a daily basis. Hewitt was forced to migrate to one of those we-only-hire-babes-for-our-female-cast-but-we-still-have-quality-content shows: Party of Five, which, despite what the title suggests, was actually about a family.

Following the success of her character in the show, Hewitt got greedy and thought that she should have a show of her own. FOX (who else?) cooked a spinoff for her PoF character, by having her move to New York City in search of her biological father. Both Hewitt and FOX messed up though, since they failed to consider that the show would premiere during the cold season in NYC, and so Hewitt's character was always wearing an excessive amount of clothes. Forced to get buy on her dramatic skills only, Love's TV boat sank like a rock, as the network cancelled her show before the first season was even completed. And just when she had found her daddy, of all times!

After that, Jenny had to endure a time-off from tv. She attempted a comeback with a sitcom in 2004, but the network committee that evaluated the pilot was women-only, and so she was turned down. Finally, she booked a show on FOX where her character can talk to ghosts. The US government fears that that the suicide rate among male teenagers may quadruple over the next few months. That of divorced men over 45 is expected to increase ten fold.

While on tv, Hewitt also made some of those made-for-tv stuff that we all hate. First, she played Audrey Hepburn in a biography where nothing bad ever happens, then she played a psychotic social climber who, wisely enough, wears only tank tops. The second film was relatively successful, whereas the first prompted many fans of Ms. Hepburn to burn her pictures and join a "I Hate Audrey Hepburn" cyber club on the internet.