Jerry Springer
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“I'm so fucking embarrassed.”
~ Marge Simpson on Jerry Springer
“JERRY JERRY JERRY JERRY!”
~ Jerry Springer fan on Jerry Springer
“That motherfu**er still owes me seven souls and eighty foreskins...”
~ Mr. Rogers on Jerry Springer
“JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!”
~ Crowd on Jerry Springer
“Who Wants to get [BLEEP] tonight?”
~ Censor worker on Jerry Springer
Contents |
[edit] Early Life
Jerry Springer was born on the 6th of July 1944. His childhood was beautiful and golden, between racing toy cars and playing with his pet golden retriever. In high school, he was on the track team and in the Robotics club.
In college, however, he met the man who would change his life: a transsexual paraplegic black autistic midget named Stan, who impregnated everyone including himself at a family reunion in Mactier, Ontario. At first, Jerry was horrified, but eventually grew to tolerate and even venerate Stans actions. It wasn't until Stan nearly OD'd on cocaine that Jerry realized it was time to help his good friend. But how? How to help him out of the hole without ruining the individuality and passion that made him who he was?
[edit] Military Service
A widely misunderstood and little known fact about Jerry Springer is that he served in the German, Danish, Canadian, American, Mexican and Rainbow Coalition Armies all simultaneously, between 1977 to 1990. He is an expert marksman with ranged weapons, and prefers the sling shot. It is said that he had a contest with Young Link outside Hyrule Castle, and beat him so badly that what little masculinity Link had managed to accumulate was diminished. Jerry Springer is rumored to have 20 STR and 20 DEX, making him nearly invincible, a secret which he hides with the clever, but unnecessary, use of body guards on his television show.
[edit] Political Career
Jerry Springer has had an abundant career in politics. His career gained much notoriety after running in 1955 against his rival and evil clone, Maury Povich.
[edit] The Jerry Springer Show
It was from humble beginnings then, that the first cable show for white trash grew. It later evolved, including fetishists, homosexuals, midgets, incest, and more, involving any or all of the former. Some memorable show topics include:
- Lesbian love trio caught in act
- Lesbian love trio caught in act using hot dog
- Lesbian love trio caught in act using hot dog salesman
- Lesbian love trio caught in act using hot dog salesman as waiter for their catering business
- Lesbian love trio caught in act using hot dog salesman as waiter for their catering business while he is chained to a tree naked and screaming
- Lesbian love trio caught in act using hot dog salesman as waiter for their catering business while he is chained to a tree naked and screaming for a taco topped with soylent green while wearing diapers.
- Lesbian love trio caught in act using hot dog salesman as waiter for their catering business while he is chained to a tree naked and screaming for a taco topped with soylent green while wearing diapers filled with wasabi grown by midget Franz Ferdinand lookalike.
- Lesbian love trio caught in act using hot dog salesman as waiter for their catering business while he is chained to a tree naked and screaming for a taco topped with soylent green while wearing diapers filled with wasabi grown by midget Franz Ferdinand lookalike while listening to Take Me Out by Franz Ferdinand.
- Lesbian love trio caught in act using hot dog salesman as waiter for their catering business while he is chained to a tree naked and screaming for a taco topped with soylent green while wearing diapers filled with wasabi grown by midget Franz Ferdinand lookalike while listening to Take Me Out by Franz Ferdinand in the middle of Central Park in New York.
- transexual midget cheats on wife for cousin
- zoosexual pizza man has affair with pizza, cheating on goat
- Four men in a zebra, turn out to be their own mother
- Priest caught with 20 young boys in his basement.
- Man cought cheating on a monopoly game he maried with a transexual lesbian midget!
Springer continued to host this trash on television, until the day one of his guests beat him to death with his own microphone.
Note: Pages with this template are added to Category:Axis of Evil-Doers.
