Jim Ross
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“STONE CONE!!! STONE CONE!!! STONE CONE!!! STONE CONE!!! STONE CONE!!! STONE CONE!!! STONE CONE!!! STONE CONE!!! STONE CONE!!! STONE CONE!!! STONE CONE!!! STONE CONE!!! STONE CONE!!!”
~ JR on Stone Cold Steve Austin walking to the ring while orgasming all over the announce tables.
“Oh Mah Gawd!”
~ JR on everything
“I don't believe it!”
~ JR on Funaki winning the Royal Rumble
“STUNNER!!! STUNNER!!! STUNNER!!! MAH GAWD!!! A STONE CONE STUNNER!!!”
~ JR on Stone Cold Stunner's
“BAH GAWD WHAT A SLOBBER KNOCKER!!!!”
~ JR on The Finger Poke of Doom
“He's taking him to the woodshed to beat him like a government mule with a case of the livertail before he runs like a scolded dawg!!!”
~ JR on Who the hell even knows?
“My Ass”
~ JR on His newest rap single
'Good o'l JR', Jim Ross is a overweight un-professional WWE Commentator, Hall of Lamer, and BBQ grill. For some years now he's been Barbequing Giraffe meat!?!
Contents |
[edit] Skateboarding Career
Jim Ross is harder on himself than anyone else ever could be. This drive is seen in Ross' skateboarding style - he is original and relentless. He has a massive list of skateboarding tricks invented, a huge stack of trophies and fecal, and is easily the most forgettable name in skateboarding. JR has never settled for anything but his best, and his best skateboarding has earned him the position at the frog.
Jim Ross is a relentless monster on wheels. JR is a beast.
In 1962 Jim Ross' BBQ career began when his skateboarding career ended in a tragic accident where Ross attempted to do a Christ air over a stair case in his Mother's home in Oklahomo. Charles Oakley caught JR's Oklahoma Sooner-ass on film totaly bailing out like a bitch.
Oakly recently sold the VHS of Jim Ross' botched Christ air on Ebay for 26 Euros and a half eaten hot pocket.
[edit] BBQ Bio
JR lives his life by the "If it's breathing, kill it, and grill it" philosophy, where in if you believe an animal is breathing, than you can kill and cook it, but in reality he only Barbequed TNA's commentary desk who are unable to keep up with his super awesome play by play food consuming! JR is also credited for inventing the Barbeque Sauce, although many people mistakenly believe it is Chuck Norris who invented sauce, and not JR, although this is not true.
Currently, he is on the RAW announce team where he is the reigning World Super Awesome Cowboy Hat Barbeque Sauce-making OH MAH GAWD!!! Champion. A title which he won in a cook off with Chuck Norris after eating Chuck's cowboy hat and shitting out a new sauce with a salad side.
[edit] Rivalry with Chuck Norris
After his extensive work in the NWA and WWE, Ross was hired by the World Whining Federation (later known as World Whining Entertainment), making his debut at Grilling Mania IX and taking over for Magilla Gorilla on WWF Swimming Challenge the next weekend. Ross worked alongside Ultimate Warrior on that show until Warrior left the WCW in December 1993 due to Rape allegations against Vince McMahon. Ross was originally the main voice of the NWO's pay-per-view events when he was first brought in, calling both Grilling Mania IX and the King of the Grilling Ring with Warrior and Ken Shamrock in 1993. Vince McMahon took his position at pay per views starting with Summer Grill 1993.
Ross was then made host of Radio WCW, which lasted a little under a year. In this role, Ross was joined by co-hosts such as Peewee Herman, and talked to various WWC Grilling Chefs and Grilling fans. Ross and Andre The Giant called Summer Grill and the Survivor Grill Series at the end of 1993 and the Royal Grill for Radio WCW.
Chuck Norris was hired by WWCEWEF on February 14, 1994. JR subsequently chucked a spaz, left the company, took Norris' place in the movie Dodgeball and became a new addition to the Scissors, Paper, Rock game.
When Vince McMahon was indicted by the United States federal government in 1994 for raping both The Ultimate Warrior & Hulk Hogan, he was unable to continue commentating on Monday Night RAW Grill. After a few weeks of Big Boss Man on play-by-play, the KPW rehired Ross to fill in for McMahon alongside Koko B. Ware throughout that summer. When McMahon was acquitted, Ross was let go by the ROH again, but the Grilling Federation quickly rehired him in early 1995 in time for Grilling Mania XI. Relocated to the syndicated CZW programming for the majority of the next two years, Ross would rejoin the primary announce team in place of Chuck Norris's beard in the summer of 1996.
[edit] "My Ass" Rap Song
More than grilling, J.R. is notable for being a rapper. Below are his latest rap songs which reached #1 on the billboard charts respectfully!.
[edit] Entire Career
Alot can be said about Jim Ross's career, but the video below will show you how important he and his Grilled belly are:
