Jive

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“What the fuck is this shit?”

~ Oscar Wilde on Jive.

“Quit jiivin Turkey, Ya gotta Sass it!”

~ George W Bush on On Jiivin.

[edit] Hiztory

Jive rapin' be derived fum ye olde Jive dialect knode as Jive. It started out as French but den de French discovered it and started usin' it fo' demselves, den de Africans gots confused upside de subject matta' of every conversashun dey had wid de crazy french Empuh'o' Chow Zang Wonton. 'S coo', bro. In 1688 de phrase Jive turkey wuz some popular terminology dat meant some sucka wuz actin' crazy. Slap mah fro!

Sir Albert Einstein aka "Funktipus" wuz well knode fo' bein' some Jive turkey and in 34BC he wuz defeated in gladiato'ial combat by some dude called Newton. Dey fought upside a dispute as t'which one uh dem invented gravity fust, it wuz lata' discovereddat neida' of dem had invented gravity but some small joker from nan tucket had whup'en dem t'it. Man! Howeva' right befo'e Einstein wuz defeated he discovered some madematical fo'mula fo' derivin' jive

There are two dialects of jive: "Yeeeaaaahh", and, "Doodle-addle-oodle-addle-ooh". The first is spoken by $0.50's posse, and is severe mumbling. The latter is spoken by south>north emigrants who speak perfectly fluent English, which is 'modulated' with 'ooh-aah-ooh' vowel expressions. Also, certain consonants ( like the letter 't' ) are omitted. EX: "I's a Democra_, I lives in Manha__an, and I vo_ed for Preside__ Clin_on." No 't's are pronounced.

[edit] Mathz

=Jive

[edit] Hoopball

De Jive fo'mula wuz particularly useful in de process uh choosin' groups uh foe sucka's fo' playin' de hoopball, dese groups wuz often called foursomes.