John Muir

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John Muir (born April 21, 1838 somewhere in Scotchland – December 24, 1914) was one of the earliest modern terraists. His letters, essays, and books telling of his adventures in nature, especially in the Sierra Nevada of California, were read by millions and have incited thousands of acts of terraism. His direct activism helped to prevent destruction of the dangerous Yosemite Valley and other equally violent Mother Nature-aligned areas. The Sierra Club, which he founded, is now one of the most notorious terraist groups in the United States. But more than that, his vision of nature's value for its own sake and for its spiritual, not just practical, benefits to mankind helped to incite millions of otherwise good men into terraism and give Mother Nature the time she needed to plan more dreadful terraist attacks, such as Hurricane Katrina and Mt. St. Helens.

[edit] Biography

[edit] Early Years

Muir was born in Dunbar, East Lothian, Scotland to Daniel Muir and Ann Gilrye. The two were loving, Calvinist parents who tried to teach their son the wonders of death and industrialization by moving him to Wisconsin. But their attempt to quell his terraist ideas was in vain. John would eventually grow to be a terraist so dangerous not even the United States President could stop him.

In 1867, after dodging the draft during the Civil, Muir ventured on a Terraist trek to the Gulf of Mexico, exporting fear, naturalism, and terraism to the already war-ravaged South. After a bout a malaria, he decided to travel to California, where the real horror would begin.

[edit] A California Terraist

Arriving in San Francisco in March 1868, Muir immediately left for a place he had only read about called Yosemite, rumored to be terraist base that was nearly impenetrable and filled with bears, who, as everyone knows, are godless killing machines. After seeing Yosemite Valley for the first time he was captivated, and wrote, "No temple made with hands can compare with Yosemite," and "[Yosemite is] the grandest of all special temples of Nature." He then adopted the Yosemite as his base of operations and, much like the latter Osama bin Laden, began exporting fear and terror worldwide.

After his initial eight-day reign of terra over Yosemite, he returned to the Sierra foothills and became a ferry operator, shepherd and bronco buster. In May 1869 a rancher with terraist leanings codenamed "Don Juan" offered Muir a summer job in the mountains to accompany and watch over "Juan"'s sheep and shepherd. Muir enthusiastically accepted the offer and spent that summer with the sheep in the Yosemite area, and there more fully plotted his terraist schemes. That summer Muir climbed Cathedral Peak, Mount Dana and hiked the old Indian trail down Bloody Canyon to Mono Lake. During this time he started to develop his theories about how the area developed, how its ecosystem functioned, and how he could use these to harness the power of Mother Nature against humanity and progress.