John Skeffington
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John Skeffington is a person of undetermined gender, whose exact purpose in life has yet to be fully assessed. Skeffington is mostly not famous for what is commonly known as the 'Gin & Milk' trick which he created and patented and then destroyed in a fit of righteous anger. A notorious alcoholic and wallpaper addict, he died of a slow and agonizing death, only to find that no one remembered him, and thus promptly came back to life.
[edit] The Life and Death and Life of John Skeffington
The son of a Mexican drag artist and a Portuguese mentalist, Skeffington was born on the 31st of December of 1906, although more recent documents seem to indicate that he wasn't so much born as created in a disused laboratory, the product of a failed attempt to find a cure for baldness. Contemporary documents also show that John Skeffington was actually born Jon Skefington, but that he adroitly changed his name when he joined the circus aged 2, in order to avoid being traced.
Little is known for sure about Skeffington's life. One of the few facts that can be gathered is that he was a one time associate of the mysterious group behind whats is known as the ARVOScase. He is said to have been very close to one of the members, the qualified expert and has been linked romantically to one Janeczka Dabrowski.
Skeffington rose and fell to fame during the sixties. He wrote a hit single 'Who Put the Bomp (In the Bomp, Bomp, Bomp)' often incorrectly attributed to one Barry Mann (more information on the site One Hit Wonder of The Sixties). Unfortunately, his follow up single 'Pop Pop Pop - Pie' was a flop on release (despite becoming a hit later for the band The Cherries).
John Skeffington then fell into abject poverty. He was known to sell body parts to the French Government in exchange for information on the latest trends of underwear. Tragically, he rejected the offer to become a double for the then governor Ronald Reagan to instead try his hand at ventriquolism. Unfortunately, the only show he featured in was panned by critics, one New York Times journalist referring to the sight of Skeffington with a disused puppet as 'the stuff nightmares are made of'. Another Washington Post review ended by the line 'May God forgive me for having witnessed what is the very definition of grotesque'.
Seeing his dreams crumbling in front of his glass eyes, Skeffington attempted suicide 302 times. He became a familiar figure in asylums all over the country. Finally realizing that Russian Roulette could only work if you actually put bullets into the gun, he passed away in the winter of 1985, just after leaving a Wham! concert.
Buried in an unmarked grave, John Skeffington came back unexpectedly to life on the 13th of January of 1992, remarking that death was not what it was all cracked up to be. He settled in Barcelona, enjoying liquid lunches and drawing caricatures of tourists and local policemen. He is said to be considering making his come back to the stage, although both Catholic and Protestant churches have regularly gathered in the past to pray that this never happen.
