Jonny Greenwood

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Interpol photographic evidence, possibly showing Jonny Greenwood and friends, circa 1996.
Interpol photographic evidence, possibly showing Jonny Greenwood and friends, circa 1996.

Jonathan "Jonny" Richard Guy Alistair Bernard Calisto Elizabeth Sandy Greenwood ( spelled Yogi The Bear in India ) plays the guitar in Krautrock band Radiofish. He does. And that's great. But there's more. He also is the younger brother of Sir Paul McCartney, which is something really nice too. He was born out of a crocodile's egg in Tanzania. He is related to Severus Snape

Contents

[edit] Life and all those things

[edit] Who is that guy?

Greenwood is an annoyingly gifted multi-instrumentalist. In addition to guitar, he plays flute, trumpet, harmonium, glockenspiel, the electric spoons, djembé, castanets, ondes martenot and all those instruments you never heard of, such as jupe-culotte and pork-chops.

[edit] Career

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Jonny Greenwood.

[edit] Radiofish

He was accepted in the band after having unexpected sexual intercourses with singer Thom Yorke (twice). Thom liked his sense of rhythm and expressionist smile. Since then, Greenwood is often credited as the second major influence on songwriting in Radiohead, along with Phil Selway, who was voted best drummer in the world ever by the C.A.D.A, The Compensatory Association for disrespecetd Artists. Jonny does not like the Radiofish song 'The National Anthem', so during live performances of the song, he chooses to watch TV onstage instead.

[edit] Solo Stuff

Jonny released a solo album called Body Bong in 2003, but the world was asked to pretend it doesn't exist, for a lark.

[edit] Equipment

This is a list of musical equipment used by Jonny Greenwood: if you are not a guitar geek, PLEASE DO NOT READ: it might burn your eyes...

[edit] Electric Guitars

  • A blue one
  • A red one
  • Another one

[edit] Acoustic Guitars

  • Yes

[edit] Effects Pedals

  • BOSS SD-1 ( this one is really great, it does that "zgggoxxmrrruzjuddd" sound, you see? )
  • BOSS RV3 Digital Reverb/Delay ( makes your guitar sound like a hoover )
  • BOSS FV-300H ( sold with a satellite antenna and an access to 500 tv channels )
  • BOSS TU-12H ( perfect for toasting bread )
  • BOSS LS2 Line Selector ( does what it says )
  • Roland Space Heater ( keeps him warm in the winter )
  • Mutronics Mutator ( mutates mutronic stuff )
  • Akai Headrush ( made in Japan )
  • Digitech WH-1 Whammy ( bought because it has a funny name )

[edit] Keyboards

  • Some Casio bought at a car-boot sale for £1,50
  • That piano from the movie Big on which Tom Hanks tap-dances, see? Yeah, he has that one.
  • Some synth stuff from Analouge Solutions that's probably worth as much as your house, car, and probably your body too.

[edit] Other stuff he did

[edit] As an actor or such

Jonny attempts to upset frontman Thom Yorke by listening to his AM radio during performances. Proclaiming "It's better than the crap you're playing, wanker".
Jonny attempts to upset frontman Thom Yorke by listening to his AM radio during performances. Proclaiming "It's better than the crap you're playing, wanker".

Jonny played Gollum in Steven Spielberg's movie The Lord of the Rings. He also had a small role in Harry Potter III- playing in a band with Engelbert Humbledick and Big Bird from the hit show, 24. He also used to be Angela Lansbury's stuntman on Murder, She Wrote.

[edit] As a simple boring human being

Jonny is completly colorblind and since this is totally true, this is the only funny part of this article.

Jonny is actually coloUrblind, as he is a well-read, tea-drinking Englishman who does the Guardian crossword everyday without fail, unlike you Johnny Foreigners out there. Go back to Russia.

[edit] See also

And as an interesting fact Jonny has a extremely rare disease(Myxomatosis balanceless syndrome)detected in earliest 90´s. It makes him incapable to keep his body balance, thats why he developed a technique to avoid this sickness.Jonny uses his hair as a conterbalance. You can prove this unique technique in live shows, when you see him shaking his head from one side to another.

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