Journeyman

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Warning: The following text might contain spoilers. This makes the article more aerodynamic, and thus more maneuverable at high speeds. Take caution and carry a first-aid kit at all times if you don't know that Will stabs Davy Jones's heart, and takes over as captain of the Flying Dutchman, Prince Arthas kills his father and, in the expansion pack, merges with the Lich King, Bruce Willis sacrifices his life to save Earth from the asteroid, Spike Spiegel dies, Homestar Runner shot Caleb Rentpayer, Tony gets shot by Chino and dies in Maria's arms, Niles and Daphne get together, the Wizard of Yendor comes back to life, Aeneas leaves Dido so she kills herself, and Soylent Green is PEOPLE!!!

Dan is about to "travel". Note the constipated expression on his face.

Journeyman stars Kevin McKidd, best known for not being able to hide his British accent, and sounding vaguely like Kermit when he tries to speak with an American accent. It airs right after Heroes because it really needs all the help it can get.

The soon to be cancelled show has been described as "Quantum Leap takes a shit on Cold Case and no one notices or cares."

[edit] Plot

A typical fan kicks back after watching the show.

Journeyman Dan Vasser (Kevin McKidd) travels through time to solve trivial and boring problems. When Dan is about to "travel," his facial expressions lead the viewer to suspect he is trying to pass a kidney stone. Immediately after his facial contortions, he disappears in a bright flash of light that only his kid can see. This has led to the theory that Dan is also Snuffleupagus from Sesame Street.

The primary conflict stems from Dan's sudden disappearances, leading most of the other characters of the show to think he is off whoring and gambling. The seconday conflict comes from the fact that his ex-girlfriend just happens to be a time traveler too, and just happens to show up in 1985 whenever he does (usually to the tune of some POS Journey song), so his wife thinks that they're probably fucking.

Dan is sent back in time several times per minute by some unseen force, but who is probably that quantum physics dude who just showed up out of nowhere. Some of his ultra-important missions have included acting as a gambler's anonymous sponsor to a high powered lawyer, and acting as a matchmaker for a lonely Asian chick.

[edit] Characters

Dan Vasser: The main character of the show, Dan is a newspaper reporter. His sheer bad-assedness as a reporter is so great that his boss defends him to the management, even though he never writes an article.

Katie Vasser: Dan's wife, who isn't quite as hot as Dan's time traveler ex, and knows it, and spends a good amount of time on screen bitching about her.

Jack Vasser: In a very unique twist, Dan's brother Jack used to fuck Dan's wife. He uses Dan's sudden disappearances to try to get back in that hole.

Charlie Vasser: Dan's son, who can't act his way out of an elementary school production of itsy-bitsy spider. He thinks Dan's disappearances are "cool."

Hugh Skillen: Dan's boss, who doesn't mind that he never writes anything and is disappearing all the time.

Livia: The hot ex-girlfriend who always shows up in the past with Dan. She seems to know what's going on. This makes her unique.

Quantum Physics Guy: Shows up for five minutes mid-season to talk with Dan about time travel. It probably has nothing to do with the main plot.