Jughead

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Flaming Homosexual Clown Posse or FHCP member Crappy No-hope greets and salutes legions of Juggalos at a concert.

Juggalos are a race of sentient, humanoid aliens from the planet Psychopathic 7. They are best known for having tried to invade the Earth in 1987 under the guise of evil clowns. Directed to Earth by two of their undercover scouts (called the Flaming Homosexual Clown Posse, consisting of Crappy No-Hope and Silent Gay.), the Juggalo unleashed an all-out strike on the planet, attacking primarily by using primitive ax and hatchet weapons and blasting horrendously un-listenable music to try to break the will of the Earth population. They were swiftly defeated and driven back by the gunfire from a small local city police force. This chain of events was later recorded in a historical documentary, which was released a year later.

1 Juggalo biology
2 Juggalo religion
3 Juggalo language
4 Famous Juggalos

[edit] Juggalo biology

"Oh God, it's seen us! RUN!!!"

[edit] Origin of the Word

The word "Juggalo" comes from the latin word "jugiter", which means continually, perpetually, and constantly / instantly. This is because Juggalos are continually annoying the shit out of the world, perpetually avoiding getting a job, constantly fantasizing about Violent-J's boner, and upon becoming a Juggalo, a person instantly becomes a faggot.

[edit] Physical appearance

In order to protect their delicate skin from sunlight, Juggalos wear a thick coating of white and black biochemical fluids (known by them as "face paint") over their bodies at all times. Few have ever seen the true appearance of Juggalos, though they are said to be hideous, with yellow-green razor teeth and strange marks growing all over their faces. The average weight of a Juggalo is around 280-500 pounds. Juggalos dont shower often, so they have very greasy hair that hangs all over there face, witch has the result comes out to be really bad acne.

[edit] Eating habits

Juggalos are carnivores that consume prey by trapping them in pink, cotton candy-like cocoons. These cocoons slowly disintegrate the prey into Faygo Red Pop, which Juggalos drink with a straw, violently regurgitate, and then lick off the bare ground.

[edit] Juggalo religion

The purpose of the Juggalos' invasion of Earth is still not fully understood. From the evidence of small bits of information intercepted from the Jugglos' transmissions with each other, experts and cryptographers have determined that they believe in and follow a mysterious force, which they call the Dark Carnival. Much like Vikings, Juggalos are known to fight ferociously in battle, assaulting people with faygo cans, but unlike the Vikings they usually end up taking it up the ass by the time the fight is finished. It is a Juggalo belief that if one dies fighting to spread the faith of the Dark Carnival, one's soul will be able to ascend up to the glorious. Also, Juaggalos do not cry at funerals. Instead, they pity the corpse for being weak and unable to take a proper ass-raping. Juggalos have unlimited view points. None of which are valid.

[edit] Juggalo language

Juggalos do not have an official language but instead communicate through each other in a series of grunts and guttural roars, combined with interjections of barely intelligible pseudo-ebonics such as "Psychopathic, bey-atch!" "Down with da clown, yo" and "MWCL " (believed to stand for "Much wicked clown love."

They have also been known to interpret "WOOP WOOP! JUGGALO!" as a mating call, to which the natural response is "MAD LOVE FOR MY CLOWN HOMIES."

Other Juggalo lingo, and things repeated ad nauseum: