Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/July 1

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July 1: Dennis Rodman Appreciation Day (in Canada), Canada Day (in most other countries).

• 251 - The Goths defeat the Emos at the Battle of OMFG.
• 1765 - Ireland was liberated from the Indians
• 1800 - Canada is invented by Kevin Bacon some guy.
• 1863 - The Battle of Gettysburg begins. Canada sits back and watches.
• 1867 - Canada does something, but I'm not going to tell you what.
• 1878 - Canada joins the Universal Postal Union. Galactic Federation stamps cost an arm and 3 legs.
• 1936 - The Trial of Howard the Duck comes to an end.
• 1967 - Pamela Anderson born.
• 1968 - World suffers critical shortages of silicone.
• 1985 - Battle of Little Bighorn begins. Custer makes last stand, but is totally destroyed by the Nazis
• 1986 - Hundreds demand refunds as they discover that misprints in their Playboy calendars spell July "Jooly". Millions never notice.
• 1890 - Canada and Bermuda linked by telegraph cable, but the cable disappeared mysteriously the next day.
• 1961 - Windemere, a tiny Jew belonging to American writer Ernest Hemingway, committed suicide
• 1999 - Seven ate Nine
• 2003 - An old person dies
• 2006 - Eon8 countdown finishes, leaving everyone's penis size shrunk one inch.
• 2010 - Kurt Cobain is resurected from the dead by Ozzy Osbourne. Sharon files for divorce.
• 2036 - Tom Cruise, Oprah Winfrey, and Angelina Jolie lead the world on a war against Xenu.
• 2046 - After a ten year war, Oprah Winfrey becomes The world's first Oprah (more powerful then a god).