Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/July 23

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A typical weapon used to promptly shoot someone with.

July 23: Promptly Shoot Everyone Day

• 1823: A pirate tries to touch Black Beard's booty. He is called a queen and is promptly shot.
• 1903: Ford Motor Company shoots its first car.
• 1920: Adam West gets a nipple transplant. He is promptly shot. Karl Marx becomes Adam West.
• 1914: Archduke Franz Ferdinand goes to the street, he is promptly shot in the Balkans.
• 1963: Kennedy goes for a walk but lastly chooses his car, he is promptly shot.
• 1963: Lee Harvey Oswald goes for a walk, he is promptly shot.
• 1965: Malcolm X shouts "nigger!" He is promptly shot and replaced by Malcolm XI.
• Sometime in the 70s : Some guy grows a mullet and is promptly shot.
• 1973: Bob Marley promptly shoots the sheriff, but he swears he didn't shoot the deputy.
• 1997: Sum n00b mizpellzors promply sh0t. He is pwnt by gun.
• 1998: A man opens an MS-DOS prompt, only to be promptly shot.
• 2000: Uncyclopedia user petitions to get Uncyclopedia Anniversaries changed to "Unniversaries", is promptly shot.
• 2000: Taco Bell customer in South Bend, IN tries to order a chicken taco with beef, is promptly shot.
• 2001 subsection II: Accordion player found in bagpipe festival, he is promptly shot.
• 2003: Vice President Dick Cheney shoots his hunting partner in the face. When asked if he was celebrating Promptly Shoot Everyone Day he said "What? Promptly Shoot Everyone Day? I'm getting me a sub-machine gun" and declares Promptly Shoot Everyone Year. He reduces US population by all the Democrats
• 2004: Chuck Norris promptly shoots Dick Cheney, but uses no weapon. The world rejoices.
• 2005: Jesus returns. He is promptly shot.
• 2006: Snape promptly shoots Dumbledore.
• 2006: I told you I would do it! But you didn't believe me, didja?
• 2007: It is revealed that Dumbledore told Snape to shoot him. Snape is promptly shot.
• 2007: A pornstar makes his nickname Promptly Shot, but isn't hired for some reason.
• 2020: Harry Potter becomes teacher of magic at Hogwarts. He is promptly shot —— by Pope Benedict XVI.
• 2090: Clay pigeon sighted over Kinderhook, NJ, is promptly shot.
• 2102: Space Shuttle Discovery ready to launch well ahead of schedule, is promptly shot.
• 2999: The Martians land on Earth to make peace and create a planetary alliance between both Mars and Earth, mutually benefiting one another for the centuries to come. They are promptly shot.
• 3000: J.K. Rowling, now an immortal, writes the 50th Harry Potter Book. She is promptly shot.
• 3001: Osama returns from his cryo in Iran. He is promptly shot.