Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/July 31

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July 31: Doomsday

• 67 - John writes the book of Revelation. He is found dead in his room with a plastic bag in his head and black sneakers.
• 781 - During a hike up the side of it, Mt. Fuji reminds the locals that it is, in fact, a volcano.
• 999 - Spades went missing, the first sign of trouble.
• 1423 - France wins yet another war.
• 1590 - England is invaded by polka dots...twice
• 1740 - NASA dies in horrible plane crash.
• 1741 - Disambiguation pages become an official currency
• 1741 - The plane is invented by your mother.
• 1917 - Lenin declares the end of history and the begining of a comunist era of prosperity, equality and freedom. Stalin doesnt buy it.
• 1980 - Harry Potter is born. He is promptly shot a week later, because God hates him.
• 1812 - George Washington is shot dead by a hippie in the slums of New-York. Congress decides to impeach him.
• 1981 - God is shot by a band of evil 8 year olds.
• 1993 - Aiden Manley is born, causing great celebrations everywhere in the known universe.
• 2005 - Doomsday 3 opens in a theatre near you.
• 2005 - Superman is nowhere to be found. Rumored still dead. Doomsday claims victory at Miss DC Comics Pagent.
• 2006 - Fuck it. Just fuck it. The end is here.
• 2007 - Someone attempts to add an ego-aniversary, but it is deemed to be less funny than AIDS
• 2006 - Someone attempts to add an anniversary entry for July 31st, 67, but screws it up.
• 2008 - America finally sinks as the trillionth Big Mac is sold, causing a mass tsunami which obliterates everything.
• 2009 - Jesus clears up the water with some Bounty, everything returned to normal.
• 2065 - The last iPod Macro topples over and falls on Paris Hilton, crushing her. There is much rejoicing.
• 2108 - Barney breaks out of hell and tries to kill the Non-Huffable Kitten. The end is near.
• 3010 - Brian Boitano fought the evil robot king and saved the human race again
• 3111 - Jesus drops the soap.
• 3112 - Jesus invents the soap on a string. It becomes a big hit worldwide.
• 3280 - Doom 487.5, a new interactive 4D computer holographic game in the popular Doom series, is released.
• 4000 - Fed up with humanity, God repetitively pushes the "smite" button until all people are dead.
• 4000 - At 05:35 PM, God hits the "smite" button one time to many, and obliterates himself.
• 4001 - God is created. On his back, it says 'Made in China; No refunds'. Oscar Wilde, starts to write new Genesis.
• 4002 - God creates a new species called pokemon.
• End of Time - The Non-Huffable Kitten is huffed causing the Universe to explode.