Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/June 11

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June 11: Ontological Empiricism Day

• -15 - Socrates said "Really?"
• 1770 - Captain James Cook wonders whether the Great Barrier Reef actually "exists", or is simply a bundle of sense-data, which is "perceived" by most to be a coral reef. He is driven mad within minutes.
• 1879 - The Prince of Oranges and Lemons dies.
• 1922 - The Society of Post-postmodernism declares Ontological Empiricism shallow and pedantic.
• 1936 - The Trial of Howard the Duck begins
• 1963 - A Buddhist monk, believing himself to have perfected fireproof clothing, performs a public demonstration of the clothes by setting himself on fire in a crowded Vietnamese street. Incidentally, the monk himself was not fireproof and burned to death.
• 1989 - Stalk smuggles cress out of dictator.
• 1999 - Cheese is reinvented as a basic element after complaints from several Pan-dimensional beings.
• 2004 - Bare assertion fallacy rediscovered as brash, and somewhat tittlating.
• 2005 - Uncyclopedia users baffled by the words 'Ontological', 'Empiricism', and by some, 'Day'. Due to that, no one knows what to write about.
• 2006 - Uncyclopedia users, armed with pocket thesauruses, attempted to post something relevant. Sucess was extremely limited.
• 2007 - The creator of the Ontological Empiricism Day is punched in the face by God. "Here you have a proof of both your existence and logos !" declared the agressor.
• 2008 - The Hermeneutic Society votes against the Ontological Empiricism Day, quoting the Universe Indexed Properties and the Fate of the Ontological Argument papers.