Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/June 4

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

June 4: International Deserved Child Abuse Victim Day

• 1452 - Christopher Columbus outvoted on naming the Santa Maria, "The Shitbag."
• 1776 - Thomas Jefferson asks for first two-week extension on Declaration of Independence.
• 1863 - Rain causes International Celebrate Yesterday day to be put off until next day, mass confusion results.
• 1900 - John Jefferson of Oak Ridge, PA awakes from forty-year sleep. Dies of asphyxiation inside coffin.
• 1920 - The King of Hungary is split into five pieces and slow roasted at the BBQ of Trianon in Paris.
• 1942 - The Battle of Midway begins with a surprise attack on Konami.
• 1958 - Centerville very briefly experiences an alien invasion, which lasts for five minutes. The aliens are scared off by the towns' boring reputation.
• 1976 - Americans celebrate bicentennial of Thomas Jefferson asking for his first two-week extension on the declaration of Independence.
• 1980 - Every child abuse offender was released in Texas due to prison-overcrowding.
• 2002 - God made an official apologie for the creation of PETA and the birth of George Bush, but we forgive him because he created JFK.
• 2004 - Earth's second moon discovered. Scientists name it "Moon 2.0" in a flash of creative inspiration.