KANAR

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KANAR stands for Knights And Nobles And Rouges. It is a LARP game in which people dress up in medieval clothes and pretend to be warriors and wizards from fantasty medieval kingdoms, like Japan.

[edit] Playing KANAR

KANAR (Knight and Nobles and Rogues)is a LARP (Live Action Role Playing Game) based in Milan, MI. It involves creating a character, then role playing that character in a Fantasy Medieval environment complete with Orcs, Goblins, Vampires, etc. The object of the game is to gain "experience points" to buy skills and powers to make your character grow more powerful, while role-playing a chosen persona. Much like D&D except with boffer weapons, Kanar is a fun and enjoyable pastime, and has been in existence for over a decade. It's membership includes 200+ members, and meets once a month during the spring, summer and fall. For more information go to www.kanar.org.

[edit] Boffer Weapons

Weapons in KANAR are made of PVC piping or rattan covered in foam padding and duct tape. According to the rules this is for the safety of all players, though the added advantage of making swords appear round and more phallic may have been a major contributing factor.

The two dominating rules of weapon construction are "Bigger is better" (see phallic comparison above) meaning large weapons must be more powerful, or fight with several smaller weapons at once according to the "More the marrier" school of thought (again see phallic comparison above.)

Latex foam weapons have also been approved.

[edit] Magic

Magic rules in KANAR are methods by which people can deal damage to other players without having to put themselves at any personal risk. It is a popular mechanic among the physically inept and people who think that they are ninjas.

Magic attacks are performed by chanting an "incant," which is a series of words spit out as quickly and quietly as possible, and then throwing a tennis ball.

The magic mechanics are a very popular point of discussion among those who don't play KANAR. A frequent comment heard from people who have just learned about KANAR is, "Sword fighting is cool and all, but throwing tennis balls around like fireballs sounds totally lame. What a bunch of losers."

Another amazing aspect of Magic is that it never remains stable. The effects and properties of Magic change from month-to-month, and on some occassions, even day-to-day. It is believed that this chaotic aspect of magic in KANAR follows from the guiding KANAR principle of TIPSI ("Those In Power are Seriously Incompetent").

[edit] Tags

A tag is a piece of paper which proves that an item exists in the game. While the written rule states that all stealable items must have a tag, in practice, few people bother to keep tags for their wallets or girlfriends.

Tags are a hot item in KANAR, and are usually traded between players at every opportunity. Many players enjoy bragging about their tag collection. The reason many KANAR players brag about their tag collections is because KANAR players are in general quite poor, and most of the them cannot afford fancy cars, big-screen TVs, or other conventional forms of compensation.

There are currently plans to market the KANAR tahs as a collectable card game. All current tags will be considered Alpha series and quite valuable.

[edit] Goal

The ultimate goal of KANAR is to gain some form of noble title. There are many ways in which players can obtain these titles, ranging from hard work (an unpopular option) up to fellatio.

It is also possible to steal a noble title by killing the owner of the title and then taking his title's tag.

[edit] Politics

While most consider KANAR a game of combat, it is in truth a game of politics. Every player of KANAR eventually succumbs to the politics bug and tries to become actively involved in KANAR management. Many of these people, who lack society's preferred social graces, tend to not make it very far, and they quit the game in frustration, blaming their inadequacies on the game's ruling management.

Those who do successfully get involved in KANAR politics quickly learn that it doesn't help them get laid any more often, and they usually give up trying to accomplish anything of use very soon into their terms.

[edit] History

In 1986, three friends who were rejected access to the SCA decided that they wanted to start their own group, so that they could attract under-aged girls to sleep with in the woods. Their game quickly grew in size and the game experienced resounding success, both as a jailbait magnet and as a fantasy game.

The creators quickly became frustrated with the game aspect of KANAR, and also they got married and could no longer chase 15 year old girls around in the woods, so they have all left KANAR. They are now known as BOCs, or "Bigotted Old Cocks."

[edit] Memorable Quotes

"Aspen be gay"

"Kieran is not food"

"Mythindor, go on without me, save the others, leave me here to die"

"You will drink the drink, and you will EAT THE FRUIT!"

"I add spice to Kanar"

"Mythindor! I'm Tracking you!" ("I'm still Running!")

"I thought she was eighteen."

"We hate waffles."

"Deathstrike Unstoppable!"

"I have 'Elven Diplomacy'; can't we just reach some agreement?"

"Nightvision! What do I see?"

"Potato-vision; what do I smell?"

"She said she was eighteen!"

"There is no rape in Kanar."

"Blood makes the grass grow. KILL KILL KILL!"

"Dixie Cup!"

"My Iron Will won't let me fall."

"I am looking for Roun the Destroyer"

"Silver just got Silent Killed by a turkey!"

"The cops are here, go hide in the maze."

"I'm not leaving until this box of condoms is empty."

"Some people collect stamps"

"Xenon particles. Very dangerous. Give us some time to lock it down."

"Will someone please hold my hair out of the puke?"

"Her boyfriend told me she WAS eighteen!"

"What do i see?"

"Ma, do you got any butter? (Yes) Than grease me up, woman, cause I'm going in!"

"So NO shit there is was..."

"T-bone's dead on high trail!...again."

"This town is marked for death!" retort - "NO SHIT!"

"He can use this one, but if he gets his scrotum blood on it tell him he can keep it."

"Subterranean lore: what kind of squirrels live underground?" retort - "Subterranean squirrels jack-ass!"

"Silas assured me..."