KGB

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(This is not to be confused with the old KGB, a branch of the Russian secret service, standing for Kool Gangsta Brothas).

The KGB is a fast food chain, founded by Harland D. Kesnel in 1917 in Kentuckistan.

KGB stands for "Komitet Gosudarstvennoy Bezopasnosti!".

There are over 12 restaurants worldwide, from Skegness to Scunthorpe.

If you don't buy their chicken, you might end up "dissappearing"

KGB is renowned for its secret recipe of 12 herbs and spices. They are as follows:

Only a handful of Kesnel's relatives know this recipe, and the confidentiality contracts they've had to sign threaten death and subsequent torture as the penalty for breach thereof. The name of the man who leaked this recipe is Antony Worrall-Thompson, who currently lives at 157 Rotted Oak Avenue, Shelbyville, Kentuckistan, 40065.

It is thought that earlier this year, the KGB cut back on funding of their restaurants in order to pay bribes and reparations to the KFC (the former Secret Police of the former USSR). It was made known recently, in addition (and more importantly), that if the KGB failed to make such payments, the world's supply of bees would be obliterated. Hence their enthusiastic co-operation.

The KGB's licence runs out on 9 June ~~2006~~ 3007(Edited by KGB). After that, each restaurant is contractually obliged to be replaced by a large burning pile of pornography.

KGB owns the majority of the world's communication companies such as AOL, Time Warner, Comcast, and Viacom.

KGB was also a band linked to Lee Harvey Oswald

[edit] The Evolution of the KGB from 1917-1991

The first KGB. Don't be fooled by the capitalist look of this joint; it's no different than the former Tsarbucks.

On Deadcember (Russian for December) 17th the CHECKA (Chick Hassling Ethnologist Confronting the Kimchi Aviators) was created by Joe P. Loinin. Loinin also sometimes referred to as Lenin was created this organization to bring in ditsy girls in to the Union. The reason behind it was that at the time Russian women were only mold-laden hairballs with no sex life what so ever. However in Fatuary (Russian for Feburary) 1922 The CHECKA was Incorporated in the NKVD (North Kaukauses Veal Distribution). This was a significant move because from now Loinin could control all of the agencies threw on string. Shortly after in Jailie (Russian for July) 1923 the OGPU (Organized Gargling of Penicillin Union) was created. All of the staff got a raise that their families were permitted to life 6 more months, an eternity in Russia. In Jailie 1934 the NKVD was reincorporated as the GUGB (Guggenheim Underwater Garrison Boat) From which everybody got a headache. However in on Advil (Russian for April) 1943 the NKGB (Never Keen to Get Beef) was formed. Which relieved everybody’s headache. Thus the name Advil for the famous American medicine. Finally in Larch (Russian for March) 1954 after many more name changes the KGB was finally formed in the Kentuckistan Fried Bee.