KINK
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is the universal sign for sexual innuendo which first came to prominence in late 2006. In the few months since its inception has influenced world events on a scale not seen since Janet Jackson forgot to invest in a bra, being name checked by various celebrities at awards, forming its own band and scoring a hit in the form of 'It's Going To Be A Very Christmas' and even triggering a war in a generic Central Asian country or two.
“I think it's in the eyes...the evil and mischief in them tells me something is odd. It's the same reason I find it impossible to warm to the new Popeâ€
~ Oscar Wilde on
“â€
~ on
“He's a useful little skank that ...I can use him anywhere without needing to worry about my girlfriend knowing. â€
~ Me on
“Kinky bugger!â€
~ You on
Contents |
[edit] How To Use Kink Without Looking Like A Complete Dunce
should only be used in the following occassions:
- When someone has just made a sexual innuendo
- When you have just said something that is intentionally naughty
- When you are referencing
- When you feel like being a dirty bugger
- When someone has said whip, electricity (except around electricions) or something similar.
[edit] Generic Central Asian War
In late 2006, Aufastellatreshakiraturachakakhanafurtadoniraguilerastan witnessed the worst fighting it had seen in nearly a year after the President of Dynastyrialexicewitchistan declared his intention to visit Aufastellatreshakiraturachakakhanafurtadoniraguilerastan, finishing his press conference with a namecheck of . However, when the President of Aufastellatreshakiraturachakakhanafurtadoniraguilerastan wished to know what the President of Dynastyrialexicewitchistan was implying about Aufastellatreshakiraturachakakhanafurtadoniraguilerastan when he finished his brief with , the Dynastyrialexicewitchistani President gave no comment, leading the Aufastellatreshakiraturachakakhanafurtadoniraguilerastani government to suspect that the Dynastyrialexicewitchistani President was implying that the women of Aufastellatreshakiraturachakakhanafurtadoniraguilerastan were actually dirty whores, which led to a boycott of Dynastyrialexicewitchistani goods and a mass invasion of Dynastyrialexicewitchistan by Aufastellatreshakiraturachakakhanafurtadoniraguilerastani troops.
[edit] International Reaction
This brought Aufastellatreshakiraturachakakhanafurtadoniraguilerastan and Dynastyrialexicewitchistan to international prominence, leading everyone to realise that was being taken way too seriously and that these two countries had seriously weird names. The war culminated in America launching nuclear weapons at both countries (despite not having been involved in the war whatsoever up until then) and a worldwide boycott of until people learned to use it properly. It seems inevitable that will never be seen again, well, at least on Earth. Early reports indicate that the teenagers of Coruscant have begun their love affair with the up until now ubiquitous .
[edit] Downfall
After the Aufastellatreshakiraturachakakhanafurtadoniraguilerastan-Dynastyrialexicewitchistani War, lost much of its appeal and never reached the successes of late 2006 again amongst Earth's population. quickly lost its high-profile primetime sponsor slots and satire of 's ubiquity quickly came into fashion, led by shows such as MADtv and Saturday Night Live, with Ashlee Simpson delivering her infamous ' down' after she forgot her joke and it was delivered by a pre-recorded voice. Songs such as 'Kinkalicious' and ' It Right' quickly exited the charts and sales of clothes with slogans such as 'I Never Liked Anyway' swiftly increased as people tried to save face for their embarrassing obsession which had dominated their lives only months earlier. With now being a pariah symbol until people learn to use it in the proper context, it seems that 's malicious gaze will never curse these lands again.
