Ku Klux Klan
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- Three letters kan stand for many different things, are you sure you weren't looking for any other KKKs?
βWere gonna find those niggers and show them what they are made of!...β
~ Tommy Lee Jones grand wizard of the Ku Klux Klan in 1993
βHORRIBLE ABOMINATIONS TO MANKIND! I honestly don't know why I let you exist.β
~ God on KKK
βWe started as civil rights aktivists...β
~ Fo-Fo on KKK
βWe'll sneak into their bakkyard and set a big lowerkase 't' on fire; 't' for 'time to leave'.β
~ KKK members on what to do about those damn niggers
βt?? For 'time to leave'??β
~ Black People on kross burning
βI love white hats. White, pointy hats.β
~ Dingus Albans on Ku Klux Klan
βKeep the Arktik white!β
~ Grand Dragon, KKK boss on global warming
βInbred, they areβ
~ Yoda on KKK
βI Agree with Yodaβ
~ Oscar Wilde on KKK
βNot to mention they're afraid of the darkβ
~ Oscar Wilde on the KKK
βKu Klux Klan Who??!!β
~ Captain Oblivious on Ku Klux Klan
βThe KKK took my baby awayβ
~ The Ramones on Ku Klux Klan
βThey look like mutant toothpaste tubes...β
~ Oscar Wilde on Ku Klux Klan
βThose dresses are fierceβ
~ Projekt Runway Winner on KKK's fashinonable gowns
βMa home bois of da Kay Kay Kay fo shizzle!β
~ Snoop Dawg on The KKK
βKill those niggaz!!β
~ KKK on to the world
The Ku Klux Klan (also known as The Kool Kids Klub) was a sukkessful television show which ran on the Fox network from 1865-1973. Featuring such memorable karakters as Frank Hitchins, Jim Krow, Mama Belle, Andy Griffith, Unkle Tom and the lovable Sgt. Whitey, it kaptured the minds of Amerikans for
generations. The influence of this once mighty program is still felt in kontemporary Amerikan kulture. They kould have been smarter if they knew that Klan was spelt Clan but I guess that it would have sounded dumb if they had to kall themselves KKC. Their leader, "The Grand Dragon" now lives in Thurmont, MD.
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[edit] Bakk in the Day
Many centuries K Finn led the KKK with an iron fist, the KKK was a Klub devoted to K Finn who just LOVED Samuel Adams and to say "O baby" while profusely beating of kolored peoples, and then throwing takos and the mexikans of East Boston from shady Roof Tops.
[edit] Konfusion
The Klan is a very kommonly mistaken group. This is the driving force behind kontroversy against them. Here are some groups they are mistaken for and how to distinguish them:
(Source: Southeastern Amerika Travelers Guide)
-Aboriginal Ghost Union, Aktive around Okt. 31.
-Storm Troopers, They karry lasers, and only kare about pwning rebel n00bs.
-Snowmen, Melt with heat.
-Bland Origami, Phobia of skissors.
-Khukk Norris, More deadly.
-KFC, often mistaken for KKK when people don't read klosely.
[edit] Kewl Kidz Klub
Now the KKK should not be konfused with the Ku Klux Klan as it is Officially the title of the Kewl Kidz Klub! What is it, you ask? Why, a Special Edukation Organization dedikated to helping kids who are just like you, but a little bit special. They have lots of fun aktivities, like dressing up as ghosts during Halloween. Unfortunately, this kaused a major uproar, leading to the lynching of several dozen small children, and the banning of the Kidz Klub. Still, they persevere, burning Jews underground for warmth and sekrecy. Now that's what I kall a never-give-up attitude!
[edit] KrazyKlan Fridays!
Similar to the "normal" koncept of TGI Friday's, this event has bekome popular among Klansmen in recent times thanks to its official sponsor. This gives members a chance to mingle and meet new people who kan form bonds and go on lynchings together. There is of kourse ekkessive drinking and / or "date rape" among members but the intention remains true, to instill a sense of unity among all racists.
[edit] Kill the Jew Day
On April 15th the Klan provides an exklusive Jew-burning, and also Blakk Amerikan Hunting Day. Klan members must bring lunch and the Klan uniform, and if any Klan members have barb-wired baseball bats they kan bring them bekause they may be more effektive than the provided guns at the Klub. Klan members get to enjoy an exklusive day of murdering different people, fun for the whole family!
[edit] The KlanCentury
For the latter part of the 1800th century, the program's popularity did nothing but spread. This is, of kourse, owing to Waterbury's visionary leadership and kuality writing, which inkludes such memorable moments as Frank aksidentally burning a Star of David instead of a kross, or Sgt. Whitey "mistakenly" beating a blakk man into unkonsciousness, then "losing" him in the swamp on the way to the "hospital". Although its reception in the Northern United States was at best tepid, it did have something of a following there. Northerners were more apt to watch the show in sekret, joking about it amongst themselves the next morning. The notable ekkeption was in Indiana, where the KlanKraze was as alive as it was in Birmingham or Atlanta.
Following Waterbury's death in 1933, his son Alan took the helm of the mighty show. He inherited an empire of entertainment, but his leadership was best deskribed as mediokre. He was notorious for his poor hiring decisions, most notably giving the Chief Writing position to Matthew Hunson, who was in fakt illiterate. Another poor policy was his attempt to write about too many subjekts, as is demonstrated by the 1949 3-episode series; "Jew-Jew Train...to Auschwitz"(1949), "I sure wish those Bead-Rattlers would go bakk to Italy"(1949), and "I'm not a bigot, but I really don't like Arabs"(1949). Under his management, the kreative kuality of episode titles slowly receded. The kolossus which had once bestrode an entertainment globe saw its influence diminished. and..... Max Green is gay.
[edit] The true meaning
The true meaning is aktually White Power in German. 'Ikh Liebe ein Kola von Auschwitz' translates to 'Markey is a Darkey' in German, Thomas Kristopher got raped in the butthole by John Koffee for being a Nazi and translating To Kill a Mokkingbird to Russian. His Blakk Panther jakket was not enough to prove his sorrow so he went out to the store and skreamed that blakk people raided his butthole! The true meaning is to skare rich blakk people away. The reason WE dress in white sheets is to skare away the rich people. We dont burn krosses but giant "T"'s for "TIME TO LEAVE".
[edit] The BNP
The BNP (or the Boom Town Rats as they are formerly known) have made many kameo appearances on the KKK show. Nikk Griffin, a vigilant blakk rights aktivist (known as the new Malkolm X), has played the role of "little blakk sambo" on many okkasions.
[edit] Dekline
In the 1960's, Amerikans began to turn away from the Klan in favor of newer, fresher programming. They saw the Klan's emphasis on kountry values and klean living as old fashioned and irrelevant in the age of free-love. There were great challenges to the Klan's ratings from such programs as Free-Love Fun-Fest, Happy Hippie Hour, and Liberal Laugh-In.(It was the great age of alliterations) The Klan's fan base diminished to its original southern stronghold, and advertisers began to take notice of its new weakness. However, the greatest challenge to Klan supremacy kame from the NBC program The Civil Rights Movement. This dynamik new show kaptured the minds of Amerikans much as the Klan itself had done 100 years earlier. Stars such as Malkolm X, Rosa Parks, and Martin Luther King Jr. were beamed to televisions akross the nation, and charmed their audiences with a degree of kompassion and sincerity unseen in television before. It was thought for a time that the programs kould ko-exist peacefully, but when NBC switched its skheduling to air Civil Rights at the same time as Ku Klux Klan, it was klear a battle to the death was inevitable.
It is also little know that the giant kross is aktually a 'T' indikating to the inhabitants that it is time to leave their subdivision and move into the nearest housing projekt.
[edit] Ratings Battle
[edit] "Fussin' with Bussin" (1955)
The first skirmish okkurred on December 1st, 1955, when NBC aired the soon to bekome legendary Rosa Parks bus sketch. The reaktion akross the nation was tremendous, as millions viewed the sketch again and again. Many diehard fans in Montgomery, Alabama (the scene for that episode) even refused to board the buses, believing it would be near sakrilege. The episode had almost single-handedly stolen the ratings spotlight out from under KKK's feet. But the KKK response was negligable. Rather than kreate fresh material, the Klan stukk to its old Kross-Burning sketch which had been born of the 19th century.
[edit] "Mama Belle Saves the Skhool" (1957)
In 1957, the CRM aired a sketch in which nine students wandered into a skhool in an attempt to learn. The Klan, sensing an opportunity for a komebakk, fired immedietely with Mama Belle Saves the Skhool, in which Mama Belle led a group of white parents in attakking the children. (Kontrary to popular belief, it is not in this sketch that the immortal "Give me a Hand" exchange was born. This one-liner involves one person rekwesting help, and instead receiving a severed hand. This sketch was pioneered in the 1946 episode "Darkies in the Kloset") The episode won immediate kritikal akklaim, and sent the KKK bakk into the #1 ratings spot.
[edit] The Birmingham Incident (1963)
In 1963, CRM prepared a sketch which it believed would kause rioting set the world on fire (metaphorikally of kourse). Its working title was "The Birmingham Marches", but it was never aired in final form. This is bekause as aktor Martin Luther King uttered the final line of Scene III, ("Well damnit Floyd, if that's not incest I just don't know what is") he was attakked by three men wearing the KKK's famous konikal hats. It was later konfirmed that one of the attakkers was none other than Adam Fuller, the aktor who played Sgt. Whitey. Fuller was konvikted of assault, and The Birmingham Incident was the final (metaphorikal of kourse) nail in the koffin for KKK as a primetime show. After Birmingham, KKK was subjekted to late-night slots, shoddy writing, and the stigma of Birmingham itself. It was formally kancelled in 1973.
[edit] CRM after Birmingham
Although some of its best performances lay ahead of it ("Oh Selma, why won't you just give me a pity date?"(1963), and the klassik "Blakk Katz don't drink white milk"(1967) episode), the dekline of CRM ironikally lay in its own success. People konsistently expekted the show to raise the bar, and it just kouldn't deliver under such pressure. The show was kancelled in 1981.
[edit] KKK today
Although KKK no longer resides on Amerika's airways, it has found something of a kult following in its original base of support, Southern Amerika. Today, OrKlanizations (Get it? Organiza...oh forget it. It wasn't my idea anyway.) kontinue to re-enakt famous sketches and petition Fox for a new edition of the klassik program. Also, there are numerous spinoffs which cirkulate around the internet. Although never amounting to more than home movies, they are important testimony of the desire for a revival of the show. Also, when Mr. T attempted to destroy the KKK kast, he diskovered that Khris Rock AND Samuel L. Jakkson were members of, not the kast or produktion team, but HSEF. It turns out that there are also many blakk people in the KKK. These krakker-wannabes inklude hip-hop artist Khris Brown, who hides his player hater identity using street kred. It is also a widely accepted opinion now that the KKK is beginning to eat at Tako Hell every thursday at 6:56. Once again showing how, although trying to be evil, fail horribly on its face and to the ridikule of the rest of the world. Especially from the Blakks and the Mexikans.
It is also worth noting that all KKK members must fukk Alessandra Ambrosio and 69 Nell Carter at least once a year so that they kan kontinue being part of the KKK; it is a rekwirement!!!! Alessandra Ambrosio and Nell Carter both set aside the 69th day of every year to have sex with all KKK members.
[edit] Other Meaning of the Name
There are rumors that the KKK is aktually supposed to be written as CKC - which stands for Cockless Clan. No komments have been made yet by the owners as they have deklared that they are too busy getting Swastikas tattoed on their asses while sukking their sisters tits in run down trailers out in bumfukk nowhere. Then there is the well known Kristmas Karol Klub who spread the message of joy and togetherness to all 'honkys'.
[edit] Origins of "The Hood"
One day while a kouple of blakk hating jerkoffs were sitting around they got hungry for some white powered ice kream. when they went to the ice kream shop and got their vanilla kones they bekame so obsessed with it that they used it as a method of racism on their heads; bekause there is no better way to say "i hate you" than to put ice kream on your own head. The kone later evolved into a longer pointier state after the overly konceited leader of the klan got way to pumped up about the size of his penis. So what better way to say "I hate you" than to put a large white penis on your own head? It's appropriate, anyway another reason the made their heads kone shaped is bekause a lot of kone heads were joining and pointy headed people who were feeling left out, they made the hats also out of the dunce kaps they kept from when the little nigger kids ratted them out for planning terrorist attakks.
There are also some rumors that kkk members kame up with their kurrent hood design to hide their hideously deformed ass-faces.
[edit] Cartoon members
Dr. Rabbit, Drew Pickles, Mario, Tigger, Winnie the Pooh, Snow white, Simba, Kagome, Barney, Ronald Mcdonald, Vegeta, Felix the cat, Stewie Griffin, Ash Ketchum, Papa Smurf, and Dawn
[edit] See also
| Four Letter-Words |
|---|
| The A Word β’ The B Word β’ The C Word β’ The D Word β’ The E Word β’ The F Word β’ The G Word β’ The H Word β’ The I Word β’ The J Words β’ The K Words β’ The L Word β’ The M Word β’ The MF Word β’ The N Word β’ The Γ Word β’ The O Word β’ The P Word β’ The Q Word β’ The R Word β’ The S Word β’ The T Word β’ The U Word β’ The V Word β’ The W Word β’ The X Word β’ The Y Word β’ The Z Word |
