K Yakuba
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Kushmoortook Yakuba (1921-) is, without any doubt, the father of the modern Albanian creation. In his poems, he frequently dealt issues of great importance such as the national sport: the spitting of olive kernels at sick goats, the brutal love making to pregnant women, the drinking of cheap vodka to drunkenness and such and such. His most famous creation known to this very day and fluent amongst any albanian guttersnipe is "the pleasure of devouring a monkey", which tells the story of an albanian fugitive caught on a remote island, that upon noticing his material poverty and the losing of his wits, captures one of the island's monkeys and cooks him.
In the 60s he founded a muslim-Shiiite nudist colony and was chased by the authorities for doing so. Towards the end of his life he coronated himself as the thirteenth Imam and his monkey as his heir. He was known for his adoration of the israeli originated TV program Gevert Pilpelet.
He managed to presuade his mighty country's leaders to aid in The War Against Terror, giving them a Albanic-ballad version of the notorious ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US speech.
Leading the vast armies of albania to their base in Scotland and examinig its wildlife, Kushmoortook's poetry began to spread quickly among the drunk and uneducated (94.723%). Very soon he posed a threat to Lord Byron's flashy mentos jingles and wilde's software profits. Yakuba realized that no agreement would solve their tragic situation, and thus introduced the kumquat to wilde.
By redirecting his crusade to the british colonial southern Orkney islands he founded the first Walachia★Mart colony and free Gay dominion province. A maternal connexion to Bob! is suspected, seeing as on his death bed he uttered these final words "Alea iacta ee... Kai su, teknon" which means "buy me pink bikinis" in the ancient Indo-Hittite tongue.
An autopsy unearthed his profound Snake-ish blessig, the ownership of two Penises.
First two prargraphs originally written on the Hebrew wikipedia, translated and expanded version here.
