Karl Sanders
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Karl (Double-Chinned Albino Scary Blonde Black Sheep) Sanders is the main guitarist and sometimes Bison-Hearder for Death Metal band Nile. He was born a Buddhist but converted to the Latter Day Terrorists in 1234 just in time for the invention of gunpowder in Britain. He is known for his ability to hit the brown note, a note so low that upon hearing it, all bowels within a fifty foot radius release their contents.
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[edit] Karl Sanders as a Deity
Nile has always been viewed as a band that is unknown by many. All Death Metal bands worship Sanders as a minor (or sometimes VERY major) deity. Ever Since Sander's sad demise. he can be seen reencarnated in many metal bassists such as Derek Boyer from Suffocation, ICS Vortex from Dimmu Borgir and Gene Simmons from the transvestite band David Bowie.
[edit] Karl and his Father
Karl Sanders is the son of the colonel sanders, he was to take over KFC when the colonel died. But Karl but thought fuck this i'm sick of fucking chicken i'll start a death metal band instead. The in seen in some photo with his son eating KFC,some has them eating KFC naked. We would talk about Karls mum but she pigged out on KFC ages ago and died and nobody want to know about a fat bitch know do they? Sadley the Colonel past away with the secrets of making his good chicken, but everyone one knows he just uses his cum for with flowers and butter and mixes it and batters it on the chicken.
[edit] Now
As a Metalhead, he needs his daily helping of Goats blood, however due to his double-chin having a mind of its own, he is only down to approximately 13 buckets a day. Many fans and reencarnated copies of himself dispute this unexpected diet as his silly little band is due to release a new album. Nile's new album is called Ithyphallic which is Ancient Egyptian for itchy cock.(Ithy = Itchy, Phallic = cock). A certain non-existant resource says that in a drunken haze Sanders accidentally spent most of the bands budget on the new band website and while he is not performing, Sanders can normally be seen either scratching himself or grabbing the phallus of the guitarist of the band whom he is touring with (see Sam Totman)
[edit] His Drinking Problem
(Article is self-explanatory) Oh well. Ever since he was sued for impaling three teenagers at a gig with his rather dangerous Custom KXK Guitar he started to drink his own weight in high percentace spirits. His liver-solidifying diet consists mainly of Gin soup and Tequila pie and has lead to him firing many bassists from the band. Statistically, the band goes through around 17 bassists a month.
[edit] See Also
- Herman Li
- Phallus (Please don't)
- Oscar Wilde
- Alcohol
- The Macarena
