Kashmir
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Kashmir, a disputed region on the border between India and Jihadistan, was best known as an exporter of Kashmir wool sweaters and inbred children. The name Kashmir is thought to come from a type of sausage that was discovered in the region by the famous anthropologist Osama Bin Ladin. Osama on discovering the now fabled Kashmir sausage proclaimed "let this fallic meat product rest as easy in the anus of all my fellow cousins as it does in my chocolate oven".
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[edit] Demographics
The total population of Kashmir is 100 million, 99 million of which are Indian soldiers who want to go back to India.However Mother Teresa, the Chief of Army Staff of India is very strict on its 'no exchange,no return' policy and prohibits any such measures. Because of this male majority state army as to resort to gayness (not the type you are thinking, its worse).If an Indian Soldier manages to return home he brings with him beautiful shawls and a ranked husband.Hence Kashmir is also knowns as 'the land of the gays', birthplace of Gay Lord Focker of Meet the Fockers fame.
The national anthem of Kashmir was "Baa baa black sheep have you any wool? Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full." by John Paul Jones and Rudyard Kipling.
A Richter 7.6 earthquake wiped out the region on the morning of October 8, 2005, with about forty thousand believed dead and more dying as food and shelter are scarce and narrow roads into the region are blocked by landslides. Allah was not available for comment. Authorities have been trying to pull out as many sheep as they can, alive, to save their wool making capabilities. They don't give a damn about the humans. In fact it would be better if all the humans were wiped out, it would leave more place for sheep to breed. Donate your aid at Save The Muslim Goats.com
Unfortunately, the earthquake failed to remove Kashmir's biggest infestation, short jihadistani savages.
[edit] Economy
The primary economic competitor to Kashmir was Afghanistan, which ekes out most of its meager existence by knitting Afghan dogs and biscuits in new zealand.
The primary food export from the Kashmir region was Shake & Bake; as food becomes scarce, the Kashmiri pass the time playing Quake and clawing at the rubble with bare hands in an attempt to find buried friends and relatives.
Kashmir is also known for its no-fault insurance, which is of little use in an earthquake.
Principal trading partners include Pakistan, which exports freedom fighters, and India, which exports Indian army in order to curb the right of freedom of Jihadistanis. Exporting these to Kashmir have been quite a hit and now Pakistanis have started exporting this to UK and at the moment, they are aggressively analyzing the business case to further expand their monopoly.
[edit] Politics
Kashmir was in a precarious political position even before the October 2005 earthquake. Situated between India and Pakistan, it was the subject of a long tug-of-war between Pakistans Muhammad "Asshole" Jinna and India.
One Saturday morning when both sides pulled a little too hard, the Line of Control snapped and the earth began to shake. Buildings collapsed on their occupants, key roadways disappeared under avalanches of rubble and even the Pakistani capital soon went from Islamabad to Islamaworse.
Hospitals and Terrorist Training Camps have collapsed. Recent research shows that at least 11,000 Terrorists have died in the quake. However, Osama has not been found. Most probably, he is having anal sex with someone called Benazir Bhutto (She used to be the star-whore of the red light area in dubai. She is still available for 25 dollars.Well , if she isn't busy wid Gen. Musharaffucker.
[edit] Foreign aid
The Paksitan have solemnly rejected giving any aid because more than 90% of their own population needs aid .
Favorite Pakistanis qoute whenever India Rejects talks on Kashmir " SUCK my Dick Bhindia" Aid efforts, like the earthquake itself, are proving to be a major disaster. Not only is help not reaching the remote rural villages where it's most desperately needed, but authorities don't seem to understand the problem. America sent Condoleeza Rice to the stricken area, only to have her sent back with the protest "No, no, no, you don't understand. We said peasants are starving because they have no rice. Send food!" Pakistanis are in general poking their noses in the Kashmiri issues, but that is not the only thing they are poking they are also poking their penises in India's mouth.
Barney Rubble has responded to allegations that people and bodies are trapped under rubble where schools and hospitals once stood by denying all responsibility for the incidents. His former neighbour Hurricane Wilma was unavailable for comment. It is also noted that General Musharraf, aka Busharraf is in love with Kashmir, because of the incestous relations between his mother and a Kashmiri black sheep.
[edit] News
- BBC
- Information source from Kashmir: Indepth news and features regarding various facets of Kashmir.
[edit] Aid
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