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That's definitely not a fluffy kitten.

A Katana is a type of sharp pointy object used for poking things violently. It has been rumored that they are carried by samurai, ninja and the extremely rare NinjaRai, which is a badass combination of the two.

[edit] History

It is rumored that the first katana was developed by Chuck Norris. Finding himself surrounded by a group of cybernetically enhanced ninjas, he pulled a hair from his beard and began skewering them. It is important to note that in the beginning, the katana was only a thrusting weapon. It took 300 years for Chuck to realize he could sharpen one edge of the hair and make it doubly effective. The katana reached its final stage of evolution about 400 years ago, when a piece of leather was wrapped around one end of the hair (the non-pointy side) in order to make it possible for an ordinary samurai to hold the katana without Chuck's hair abrading their hands (completely off).

[edit] The Katana

Katanas are found exclusively in heaven and retail stores.

The katana comes in all sorts and varieties of colours. The most common colour is black. Recently Apple has released an all-new, white katana. Sony offers a dark blue katana in a Hello Kitty style. Each of these katanas only have a battery life of 15 minutes before needing recharging.

[edit] Warning!

The katana is not a toy and is not to be swung around all over the damn place by a random idiot. ('cept, ya know, for the stupid idiots who just want to kill people. If you do THAT. Then Bigfoot'll eat you.)

[edit] A Weapon?

Katanas are not only a deadly healthy part of your diet, they can also be used to impale tickle other people. Try it!

The only known advantage to using the katana as a weapon is it's ability to slay any opponent from 50 feet. The use of a Katana as a deadly weapon was first discovered by none other than Nobunaga, a rarely looked-at page on Uncyclopedia.org. Stories tell of a young Nobunaga, eating his eggplant as usual, when suddenly, a peddler came and asked for food. In anger, Nobunaga hurled the eggplant at this unwanted visitor, and surprisingly impaled him in the heart. This of course, intrigued Nobunaga, and when he unified Disneyland, he commissioned research into the use of katanas as a weapon. Of course, this was later stolen by Thomas Edison, which he used towards the invention of the space shuttle. It was the great Quentin Terrantino who discovered that rapist hilbillies are immune to all weapons other than the katana, Vin Diesel and Bruce Campbell.

For years the Japanese bragged to the Europeans about their katanas, this led to the Europeans inventing the gun.

[edit] WARNING!!

Katanas are a good source of iron, bloodshed, and crappy low-budget Asian fight movies. They are not to be injested internally.

ThisproductshouldnotbeintheposessionofsomeonewithanIQlowerthan150. Wearenotresponsible/andorliableforanyinjuriesordamagesthatmayoccurwhileusingthisvegetable/whatever.

[edit] Mach 3 Triple Bladed Katana

The Mach 3 Triple Bladed Katana is considered by many experts as The Best a Samurai can Get. These are extremely dangerous fun to stab tag people with.

[edit] OH SHIT WARNING!!!

I once saw this guy, like, totally get cut with a katana. I think it was a katana, it was hard to see through the flames and the smoke and the god of Karate to where the guy was, but, like, I totally saw him get totally killed.

[edit] The Future of Katanas

With new technology in the field of Science and Biochemistry, the quality and demand of katanas will only increase with time. Scientists predict that in the year 2000, katanas will give virtually no wounds, and shed almost no blood, which has been hailed as the Holy Grail of eggplant eating.

Researchers at KatanaNinjaAwesomeLabs™ have invented the rare but powerful sniper katana with extra-katananess. These rare katana are special because they are equipped with a laser-sight for extra presision. Therefore it can achieve the maximum speed in no less than a blink of an eye. (Later this was published as an advertisement comparing the katana to a 5 Series in a car magazine).

In a parallel dimension called Star Wars, they have invented the next generation of katana: the Laser Katana. It cuts through anything an ordinary katana can't. Decapitation is guaranteed. However, the Laser Katana requires a knowledge of The Force...