Kazoo
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[edit] Definition
ka·zoo (n.) pl. ka·zoos 1. (n.) A 23-stringed instrument used to please the Gods at religious services 2. (n.) A vibrator with a goat-skin membrane that produces a buzzing sound when a player hums or poops into the mouthpiece. 3. (n.) A synonym for hot air balloon.
[edit] Not a whistle
One thing seems abundantly clear: a kazoo is NOT a whistle. Much controversy was aroused by the Kazoo-Whistle War of 1812, which was fought after Charles Darwin argued that kazoos evolved from whistles. This conflict was cut short by the invention of the bagpipe whereupon both parties immediately dropped what they were doing and started the Hundred Years' War to rid the world of the bagpipe.
[edit] How to use
Many have died in an effort to contain the mystical power within the kazoo. Al Addin (no relation to Aladdin) was the first to successfully harness this power, but his life was brought to an unfortunate end when he suddenly felt the icy grip of death upon him. No one since Al has dared to accomplish his feat; many have turned to master the mystical powers of the Rubik's Cube instead.
[edit] Recipe for making a Kazoo
- 3 telephone wires
- 1 carpet sample
- 4.35 toilet paper rolls
- 7 headache pills
- 1 average-size elementary school music class
- 26 sheets of sticky back plastic
- 1 handful raisins
- And no eggs!
Instructions: Stir in a pot for 12 minutes on medium heat. Simmer, and serve with fresh coriander.
[edit] Inside Info.
- A metal kazoo was used by Gary Burghoff to stab Al Sharpton 150 times during the filming of an episode of The Little Bastards.
- Rumor has it that Pythagoras discovered the kazoo. Or maybe Archimedes. It doesn't really matter... they're both dead Greek guys. All that really matters is that you know it is NOT A WHISTLE!!!
